This year, my birthday is on Good Friday. While everyone else is being penitent, I think I'm going to gorge on cake!
In any event, I have been getting packages in the mail from relatives, which is very exciting. Yesterday, I was waiting for a pair of new running headphones in the mail, and I assumed that they were in the small, white envelope that was in the mailbox.
I ripped open the package, only to discover that it contained not my headphones, but a Garmin heart rate monitor. I remembered that I had specifically asked the boyfriend for this.
Then I looked at the front of the package, and who would have thought! It was addressed to him, not to me.
I considered sealing the envelope up (with tape? staples?) and pretending that I hadn't seen the contents. I figured that this was stupid since the HRM is for me anyway and since I knew I was getting it. When the boyfriend walked in the door, I said sheepishly, "I did something bad..." and admitted my mistake.
This being said, I refuse to "open" it until Friday.
What have I learned from this experience? I am spoiled and blindly assume that all mail is for me.
3.30.2010
Full weekend, full stomach.
The last few days have been jam-packed and a bit stressful. We took Bodger with us to Chicago for the weekend, and while he was a very good traveler, the logistics of bringing along a dog are not easy.
On Saturday night, we went to dinner at Hot Chocolate with friends Jordan and Maria. The food was delicious, though I ate entirely too much and felt sick afterward. Jordan and Maria are buddy-buddy with most of the staff there, and they kept bringing us free food. Good thing I had run 11 miles that morning, though I still don't think the calorie deficit was big enough to make up for the gastronomic damage I did...
I ended up moaning on Jordan and Maria's sofa, while burping from the ginger pills that Maria gave me to settle my stomach. I did, however, manage to snap a few photos of their new dog, Bartlet. He is a beagle-bulldog mix, which is completely charming and hilarious.
The boyfriend and I stayed in a pretty fancy hotel, which had just opened a few days earlier. I'm not sure how I feel about the decor, especially the fake moss-covered rocks in the hallway (next to the futuristic phone).
One of the benefits of staying in a fancy hotel is that the staff will walk your dog while you're out. Fortunately, everyone loved Bodger, who was on his best behavior. He even whipped out his best Frenchie smile:
On Sunday, after a brief three-miler on the Lakefront, I had a real treat: a massage. (Last year, Miss Pearl gifted me with a very generous gift certified, and I finally took advantage of it.) I felt pleasantly "worked on" and limber after my hour-long session.
Unfortunately, I ate some spicy soup, and it annihilated me. I almost threw up from the amount of spice in my stomach. It's a sign that you've been dating a long time when you can abruptly announce, "Sorry to be a kill-joy. I'm going to puke." Fortunately, I didn't.
Today, Lena and I went on a three-mile walk before dinner. We found a free chalkboard:
...but it was too bulky to carry with us:
Who knew? There's a sweet-ass tree house in our neighborhood?
Good thing we wore matching red sunglasses and looked like hipsters:
On Saturday night, we went to dinner at Hot Chocolate with friends Jordan and Maria. The food was delicious, though I ate entirely too much and felt sick afterward. Jordan and Maria are buddy-buddy with most of the staff there, and they kept bringing us free food. Good thing I had run 11 miles that morning, though I still don't think the calorie deficit was big enough to make up for the gastronomic damage I did...
I ended up moaning on Jordan and Maria's sofa, while burping from the ginger pills that Maria gave me to settle my stomach. I did, however, manage to snap a few photos of their new dog, Bartlet. He is a beagle-bulldog mix, which is completely charming and hilarious.
The boyfriend and I stayed in a pretty fancy hotel, which had just opened a few days earlier. I'm not sure how I feel about the decor, especially the fake moss-covered rocks in the hallway (next to the futuristic phone).
One of the benefits of staying in a fancy hotel is that the staff will walk your dog while you're out. Fortunately, everyone loved Bodger, who was on his best behavior. He even whipped out his best Frenchie smile:
On Sunday, after a brief three-miler on the Lakefront, I had a real treat: a massage. (Last year, Miss Pearl gifted me with a very generous gift certified, and I finally took advantage of it.) I felt pleasantly "worked on" and limber after my hour-long session.
Unfortunately, I ate some spicy soup, and it annihilated me. I almost threw up from the amount of spice in my stomach. It's a sign that you've been dating a long time when you can abruptly announce, "Sorry to be a kill-joy. I'm going to puke." Fortunately, I didn't.
Today, Lena and I went on a three-mile walk before dinner. We found a free chalkboard:
...but it was too bulky to carry with us:
Who knew? There's a sweet-ass tree house in our neighborhood?
Good thing we wore matching red sunglasses and looked like hipsters:
3.27.2010
Asian haircut!
This morning, after a successful eleven-mile run, I went to a local Korean salon. It was quite an experience, particularly because my stylist didn't speak any English. (The salon manager seemed to be a translator of sorts.)
Unlike a "regular" salon, they didn't wash, blow-dry, and style my hair. (Unfortunately, I didn't prepare for this and basically stuck my head under the shower stream, post-run.) Fortunately, this kept the cost low.
Also, he cut a lot of fine layers instead of blunt razor-cutting it. It now has a "feathered" look.
All in all, I'm pretty pleased with the result. It might be beneficial to start going to salons that specialize in Asian hair.
...I think I look pretty Korean today:
Now, I'm up in Chicago over night with the boyfriend for an end-of-spring break hurrah. Back tomorrow, whee!
Unlike a "regular" salon, they didn't wash, blow-dry, and style my hair. (Unfortunately, I didn't prepare for this and basically stuck my head under the shower stream, post-run.) Fortunately, this kept the cost low.
Also, he cut a lot of fine layers instead of blunt razor-cutting it. It now has a "feathered" look.
All in all, I'm pretty pleased with the result. It might be beneficial to start going to salons that specialize in Asian hair.
...I think I look pretty Korean today:
Now, I'm up in Chicago over night with the boyfriend for an end-of-spring break hurrah. Back tomorrow, whee!
3.26.2010
Dear Anonymous:
I really appreciate your comment:
Thanks,
Mica
mica, your spirit is so amazing. For recipe for korean food ,, try this website,http://www.maangchi.com/I'd love if you'd leave contact information so I could get in touch with you!
I recommend bibimbap,Bulgogi. you will also find out about korean ingredients.
Thanks,
Mica
3.25.2010
Mad dawg!
Every time the boyfriend and I get home from a run, Bodger immediately runs to greet us. He likes licking the salt off of our sweaty legs. The boyfriend tolerates it better than I do, but we both think it's gross (in an endearing way).
It is especially gross because he always gets this disgusting foam around his mouth. We then chase him around the apartment screaming "Mad dawwwwwg" as if he had rabies.
Today, he gave me a kiss (though I surmise that he was licking salt off of my face).
Even if he's gross and sometimes really weird, Bodger does make a good nap buddy:
It is especially gross because he always gets this disgusting foam around his mouth. We then chase him around the apartment screaming "Mad dawwwwwg" as if he had rabies.
Today, he gave me a kiss (though I surmise that he was licking salt off of my face).
Even if he's gross and sometimes really weird, Bodger does make a good nap buddy:
3.24.2010
Everyone loves an Asian girl.
Today, I took advantage of Spring Break and tried my hand at this recipe for cinnamon rolls. They got the boyfriend seal of approval: sweet and bread-y, without too much goopy cinnamon in the middle.
Later, I went to Elana's apartment where we made soon dobu jigae (soft tofu stew) for the first time. Since we didn't really use a recipe (rather, just vague instructions), I will walk you through what we did:
First, Elana bemoaned her "racist' t-shirt:
"Everyone loves an Asian girl."
After the garlic became fragrant, we added hot pepper powder and then chunks of beef:
When the beef was (mostly) cooked, we added sliced zucchini and mushrooms and a few cups of water to each stone bowl. Then we let the vegetables cook in the hot broth and stirred in a few tablespoons of fish sauce, which smells disgusting.
When the soup was hot and the vegetables were floppy, we added half a tube of soft tofu to each bowl and broke it up with a spoon. (Soft tofu comes in a weirdly phallic tube.)
Elana doesn't like seafood in her soon dobu jigae, but I added a handful of frozen mixed seafood to mine:
Once the soup was boiling, we cracked an egg in and let it set:
Finally, after much maneuvering, we managed to get the extremely hot soup vessels off the burners and onto the table. (The soon dobu was served with rice. It was white. Sue me.) The contents were still boiling, and I promptly burned my mouth.
So there you have it: two new recipes in one day. I'm quite pleased with myself...which is good because my running workouts have sucked this week.
Later, I went to Elana's apartment where we made soon dobu jigae (soft tofu stew) for the first time. Since we didn't really use a recipe (rather, just vague instructions), I will walk you through what we did:
First, Elana bemoaned her "racist' t-shirt:
"Everyone loves an Asian girl."We heated traditionally stone bowls over low-medium heat and sautéed minced garlic in sesame oil. I totally bought my own stone bowl at the Korean grocery store last week. I'm pretty psyched about it.
After the garlic became fragrant, we added hot pepper powder and then chunks of beef:
When the beef was (mostly) cooked, we added sliced zucchini and mushrooms and a few cups of water to each stone bowl. Then we let the vegetables cook in the hot broth and stirred in a few tablespoons of fish sauce, which smells disgusting.
When the soup was hot and the vegetables were floppy, we added half a tube of soft tofu to each bowl and broke it up with a spoon. (Soft tofu comes in a weirdly phallic tube.)
Elana doesn't like seafood in her soon dobu jigae, but I added a handful of frozen mixed seafood to mine:
Once the soup was boiling, we cracked an egg in and let it set:
Finally, after much maneuvering, we managed to get the extremely hot soup vessels off the burners and onto the table. (The soon dobu was served with rice. It was white. Sue me.) The contents were still boiling, and I promptly burned my mouth.
So there you have it: two new recipes in one day. I'm quite pleased with myself...which is good because my running workouts have sucked this week.
3.22.2010
Bodger's Birthday Haiku
Happy Birthday, Bodger!
Bodger, you are two!
Happy Birthday, you fat-head!
You make stinky farts.
Bodger, you are two!
Happy Birthday, you fat-head!
You make stinky farts.
To be honest, I actually forgot it was Bodger's birthday until I looked at his vet records today. (I thought his birthday was on Saturday.) In any event, I didn't get him anything because I am a terrible dog-mother. That said, I am planning on having a play-date/party with Ingrid's Frenchies soon because I'm pretty sure Bodger would enjoy that more than some stupid birthday t-shirt.
3.20.2010
Hello, spring!
Today is the first day of Spring Break. I know you're surprised that I am not going to Mexico to drink tequila and make a damn fool of myself. Since the boyfriend and I are going to Asia in May, we have deemed it prudent to stay home for Spring Break, though we may spontaneously go on a day trip.
Lena is off visiting family for the weekend, so we did a nine-mile long run on Thursday morning. It was a successful one, though my legs were a bit beaten up from a lack of rest days. Here are our splits:
Meanwhile, Bodger fell asleep in an awkward position:
(His head is smooshed between me and the boyfriend.)
To kick off spring break, we celebrated (French department) Jessica's birthday. Liz celebrated by kickboxing her in the face:
You can't really tell, but I wore a fancy dress to celebrate being done with the MA. (It is black with dog-print.)
I also made two kinds of cookies: sugar and chocolate chip (Recipes linked). Both were delicious. For the record, the chocolate chip are flat with crispy edges and delightfully chewy centers. I think this is my favorite chocolate chip cookie recipe so far, so I highly recommend it. Even the French girls liked them...
(ASICS 2140 boxes make excellent cookie carries.)
Lena is off visiting family for the weekend, so we did a nine-mile long run on Thursday morning. It was a successful one, though my legs were a bit beaten up from a lack of rest days. Here are our splits:
- 10:24
- 9:48
- 9:41
- 9:34
- 9:27
- 9:23
- 9:08
- 9:22
- 8:45
Meanwhile, Bodger fell asleep in an awkward position:
(His head is smooshed between me and the boyfriend.)To kick off spring break, we celebrated (French department) Jessica's birthday. Liz celebrated by kickboxing her in the face:
You can't really tell, but I wore a fancy dress to celebrate being done with the MA. (It is black with dog-print.)
I also made two kinds of cookies: sugar and chocolate chip (Recipes linked). Both were delicious. For the record, the chocolate chip are flat with crispy edges and delightfully chewy centers. I think this is my favorite chocolate chip cookie recipe so far, so I highly recommend it. Even the French girls liked them...
(ASICS 2140 boxes make excellent cookie carries.)3.16.2010
How I roll on Tuesdays
Today, Liz took me to the University Ice Rink, where I proceeded to make a fool of myself on skates. My body and mind rebelled against the idea of skating backwards, so it was in a forward direction that I propelled myself around the rink.
Later, I ran a five-mile tempo run:
As a "thank you" for her companionship and impromptu ice skating lesson, I invited Liz over for pizza and chocolate cake. She provided the "Dharma & Greg: Season 1" DVDs and the Diet Coke.
I made another chocolate cake and frosting from scratch. I am quite pleased with my accomplishments. Also, I bought a totally awesome cake saver on Craig's List for $6 last week.
(If anyone in C-U wants some cake, please let me know.)
Also, hello, new reader Lauren (And to any other new readers)! To answer your question, I am not planning on running the 2010 Chicago Marathon. If I run a marathon in the fall, it will probably be a different one because I'd like to experience a new race.
Later, I ran a five-mile tempo run:
- 1-mile warm-up: 9:55
- 8:49
- 8:49
- 8:44
- 8:40
- 8:31
- 1-mile cool-down: 9:36
As a "thank you" for her companionship and impromptu ice skating lesson, I invited Liz over for pizza and chocolate cake. She provided the "Dharma & Greg: Season 1" DVDs and the Diet Coke.
I made another chocolate cake and frosting from scratch. I am quite pleased with my accomplishments. Also, I bought a totally awesome cake saver on Craig's List for $6 last week.
(If anyone in C-U wants some cake, please let me know.)
Also, hello, new reader Lauren (And to any other new readers)! To answer your question, I am not planning on running the 2010 Chicago Marathon. If I run a marathon in the fall, it will probably be a different one because I'd like to experience a new race.
3.15.2010
East meets West in my kitchen.
This morning, I made chocolate whopper drops from Baking: From my home to yours (Dorie Greenspan), which Jessica kindly let me borrow. As I predicted from the recipe and accompanying photos, they were delicious. Too bad I packaged all but four up and gave them as belated birthday presents...
Later, I made a Korean banchan (side dish): sweet & spicy stir-fried anchovies. They were initially tasty, though the idea of eating little dried fish become increasingly disconcerting. I think it's the hollow eye sockets.
Eventually, I developed a psychosomatic aversion to the salty goobers. Meanwhile, the boyfriend gobbled them up with reckless abandon.
I hope that over in Korea, my birth mother just got a chill down her spine from her biological daughter's aversion to whole anchovies.
Later, I made a Korean banchan (side dish): sweet & spicy stir-fried anchovies. They were initially tasty, though the idea of eating little dried fish become increasingly disconcerting. I think it's the hollow eye sockets.
Eventually, I developed a psychosomatic aversion to the salty goobers. Meanwhile, the boyfriend gobbled them up with reckless abandon.
I hope that over in Korea, my birth mother just got a chill down her spine from her biological daughter's aversion to whole anchovies.
3.14.2010
Post-MA ups & a down.
The ups:
Jessica came over on Friday, bearing gifts (chocolate eggs and sparkling wine!).
The boyfriend and I played a good game of Cranium last night with Brian, Dan, and Dan's friends last night.
I also watched almost all of "Mega-shark versus Giant Octopus" on SyFy channel and didn't even feel guilty!
I started the day with a ten-mile run, my first in several months. Fortunately, Lena joined me for 8.5 miles because the weather was unpleasant--cold, windy, and damp. My splits were as followed:
And the down:
I just tried to write a second letter to my birth mom. A nice international student from my stats class offered to translate it into Korean for me. This letter will go in my adoption file in case my birth mom changes her mind and decides to contact me. It is extremely hard to write because I am still very disappointed and hurt. Additionally, I am jealous every time I read about adoptees who have been reunited happily with their birth parents. It is hard not to be angry and think "Other birth moms are so happy to finally meet and hug their children. Why are you being a coward/selfish?" But, unfortunately, that thinking gets me nowhere and just makes me feel worse.
Jessica came over on Friday, bearing gifts (chocolate eggs and sparkling wine!).
The boyfriend and I played a good game of Cranium last night with Brian, Dan, and Dan's friends last night.
I also watched almost all of "Mega-shark versus Giant Octopus" on SyFy channel and didn't even feel guilty!
I started the day with a ten-mile run, my first in several months. Fortunately, Lena joined me for 8.5 miles because the weather was unpleasant--cold, windy, and damp. My splits were as followed:
- 10:34
- 10:00
- 10:08
- 9:40
- 9:52
- 9:46
- 9:52
- 9:59
- 9:42
- 9:37
And the down:
I just tried to write a second letter to my birth mom. A nice international student from my stats class offered to translate it into Korean for me. This letter will go in my adoption file in case my birth mom changes her mind and decides to contact me. It is extremely hard to write because I am still very disappointed and hurt. Additionally, I am jealous every time I read about adoptees who have been reunited happily with their birth parents. It is hard not to be angry and think "Other birth moms are so happy to finally meet and hug their children. Why are you being a coward/selfish?" But, unfortunately, that thinking gets me nowhere and just makes me feel worse.
3.11.2010
Bodger's thoughts on springtime.
Thank you to everyone who took the time to read my long last post on the results of my birth family search. I wasn't sure what kind of responses it would get, but I was pleasantly surprised that all of the comments (both Internet and e-mailed) were thoughtful and kind. I appreciate that you have been understanding and positive throughout my search process and have been overwhelmingly positive about my sharing personal information.
I my second of two midterms today. What a killer--an MA exam bookending the better part of two weeks, followed by a week of midterms. I finally feel like I can relax and try to figure out my life now!
So to reflect my lighter and much happier mood, here are some pictures of Bodger and his corresponding opinions:
Why isn't it cloudy and gray this morning? Also, why are you cramming for your MA exam and ignoring me?
I my second of two midterms today. What a killer--an MA exam bookending the better part of two weeks, followed by a week of midterms. I finally feel like I can relax and try to figure out my life now!
So to reflect my lighter and much happier mood, here are some pictures of Bodger and his corresponding opinions:
Why isn't it cloudy and gray this morning? Also, why are you cramming for your MA exam and ignoring me?
Springtime walks are hot AND exhausting!
I'm a disgruntled springtime garden sprite!
I hate you. A lot.
3.08.2010
Birth family search results.
(I'm not sure when this photo was taken. Given that I look like an alien, I assume that it was soon after my birth, which was a month premature.)The next morning, I found an e-mail from the Korean social worker in my inbox. Here is an excerpt of the relevant information:
As I told you on the phone, we could locate your birth mother recently and talk with her several times. As you can imagine, it is very hard and surprising calls for her. Whenever I called her she wanted to avoid to talk with me. With my call today, she stated that she feels very shameful and guilty. She thought thousand times and decided not to meet you. Oh, Mica, it's really hard for me to forward her message to you as well. She thinks it is better to return as not knowing about your contact. I know it is unfair and very sad but hope you understand her. She says that she will be regretful if she refuses to meet you but it would be better to meet you.* She couldn't sleep or even eat last week. She wanted me to tell you so sorry on behalf.*I think this is supposed to be "it would be better not to meet you."
Though I had acknowledged this possibility, I don't think I could have fully prepared for the emotional blow of this e-mail. Extremely discouraged, I wrote the social worker back, asking if my birth mother or aunt might be able to have "non-identifying" contact with me. I explained that I still wanted to know if I had siblings and whether my biological father was still alive.
I received this in response:
I understand how much you are painful with the result. I really wanted to avoid to be ended up as like this so it was not easy for me to write you. Hmmmm.Your birth mother didn't want me to call her again. She was very steadfast. I can contact to her no more.She wanted to know about you more but on the one hand she wishes keep her present life without any trouble. When I read your letter to her by phone, she cried a little bit. But a couple of days after she gave me a call back and said very flatly that she decided not to meet or contact with.From the several calls with your birth mother I got to know that your birth father passed away due to stomach cancer.I don't have your ann's contact number. She just called me from public phone and didn't give me her phone number.
I am very sad that my search turned out this way. It upsets me that my birth mother has founded her new life on the premise of my non-existence. I have no way to find the rest of my biological family, and the only thing that I know about my family medical history is that stomach cancer killed my biological father. My birth mother's decision blocks me from seeing where I got certain physical traits and whether I have half-siblings in Korea. Unless she changes her mind, they will not know that I exist either.
It is extremely frustrating that my birth mother is both ashamed of and frightened by the fact that I exist. I do not believe that I am a person to be ashamed of. In fact, by most accounts, I am a fairly successful person; I am almost finished with my Master's degree! Unfortunately, I have no way to prove this to my birth mother. And unless she decides to have contact with me, I have no way to tell her that she shouldn't feel guilty about giving me away.
Finally, in sharing this chain of events with friends and family, the complexity of the situation has become painfully clear. While I feel that my birth mother is being selfish in denying me access to this information, I must acknowledge that I am also being selfish in trying to impose my presence on her security and happiness. As I have never known societal constraints such as those on Korean women, I cannot understand her decision, but I certainly do not want to ruin her life. And although my friends and family have been extremely supportive, their well-intentioned comments sometimes fall short of their aims because without being adopted, it is impossible to empathize fully.
I still plan on going to Korea in May. While I am disappointed with the outcome, I do not regret having initiated this search. A few people have told me that my birth mother's motherly curiosity and instincts might override her fear and that she will change her mind. While I won't plan on this happening, I hope that it does.
It is extremely frustrating that my birth mother is both ashamed of and frightened by the fact that I exist. I do not believe that I am a person to be ashamed of. In fact, by most accounts, I am a fairly successful person; I am almost finished with my Master's degree! Unfortunately, I have no way to prove this to my birth mother. And unless she decides to have contact with me, I have no way to tell her that she shouldn't feel guilty about giving me away.
Finally, in sharing this chain of events with friends and family, the complexity of the situation has become painfully clear. While I feel that my birth mother is being selfish in denying me access to this information, I must acknowledge that I am also being selfish in trying to impose my presence on her security and happiness. As I have never known societal constraints such as those on Korean women, I cannot understand her decision, but I certainly do not want to ruin her life. And although my friends and family have been extremely supportive, their well-intentioned comments sometimes fall short of their aims because without being adopted, it is impossible to empathize fully.
I still plan on going to Korea in May. While I am disappointed with the outcome, I do not regret having initiated this search. A few people have told me that my birth mother's motherly curiosity and instincts might override her fear and that she will change her mind. While I won't plan on this happening, I hope that it does.
3.07.2010
I passed!
Liz and I had the oral component of our Master's Exam on Friday. Fortunately, we both passed and just have to finish our semester coursework to be considered Masters of French linguistics. Or something like that.
In any event, this past week was one of the worst weeks of my life. If you are my friend on Facebook, you might have seen that I burst into the tears in the middle of the exam, which probably distressed all four of my committee members.
...but more on the emotional crisis later. Now, I have a French linguistic history midterm to study for...gross.
In any event, this past week was one of the worst weeks of my life. If you are my friend on Facebook, you might have seen that I burst into the tears in the middle of the exam, which probably distressed all four of my committee members.
...but more on the emotional crisis later. Now, I have a French linguistic history midterm to study for...gross.
3.04.2010
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