MicaPie

Micapie has moved.

2010-06-11T11:38:00.005-05:00

Micapie is now located at www.micapie.com.

Edit: The RSS feed URL is www.micapie.com/feed, so update your Readers accordingly (if you want).

Thanks!

For five dollars...

2010-06-10T23:14:00.002-05:00

I bought this humongous white-board off of Craig's List.

I'm sure it will come in handy in the future, especially for practicing my Korean. First, I have to get markers.

Also, please get ready to update your Google Reader. In the next few days, I foresee www.micapie.com going live.

Boredom baking

2010-06-09T22:36:00.005-05:00

As you may have guessed, my summer days are not super-exciting. I'm keeping myself entertained by reading (Oh yeah, that giant book for my independent study...), trying to move my blog to my own domain, house-sitting, and doing various chores around the apartment. I'm also trying to wrap my head around beginning marathon training...

Today, I used a leftover avocado to make avocado quick bread. Just like the last time I made it, the loaf is hideous:

...but it tastes pretty good and makes a good dancing partner.

For dinner, I made pizza. Guess which one was mine (beansprouts & mushrooms or pepperoni & olives):

Pudding pop haiku

2010-06-08T22:36:00.004-05:00

I love pudding pops.

Chocolate and vanilla swirl.
...but hard to open!

I have spent the better part of the day trying to move my blog from *blogspot to my own domain. It is a pain in the butt, and the images remain hot-linked and stubbornly un-transferred.

Check out the radar!

Look what I can do!

2010-06-07T16:37:00.003-05:00

1. Make cucumber banchan and japchae all by myself:

2. Accompany Jessica on a recovery run (for her):

Mile 1 - 9:15
Mile 2 - 9:19
Mile 3 - 9:01
0.23 - 2:01

3. Drink pear-flavored cider with a big glass of water:

Pet & Human abuse

2010-06-06T00:00:00.004-05:00

Bodger, wearing my sweaty running t-shirt:

Doesn't he look like a sad, little pony?

The book I plan to read this summer for an independent study. It's 1000 pages.

Frozen custard is awesome!

2010-06-04T21:32:00.001-05:00

"I'm glad your face doesn't look like that all the time. It'd look like a banana."
-The boyfriend

Summer Project.

2010-06-03T21:42:00.001-05:00

Step 1:

Adoption Q&A...and a rant.

2010-06-02T19:46:00.009-05:00

First, thank you to everyone for your thoughtful and supportive comments on my reunion post. I have been really pleased with the responses I have received in regards to my search, and I want to thank everyone for taking the time to read such a long story!

I received two questions that I thought I would address here:

Maddi was curious about the search process and how I went about finding my birth mom.

To condense a very long story, I first asked my parents for copies of my adoption files. From there, I figured out which US agency had facilitated my adoption, and I contacted the woman in charge of Post Adoption Searches. It is standard for most agencies to charge a search fee when one submits a request to initiate the process. I paid about $125 for "one year" of searching, though I'm not ultimately sure what that money covered. As far as I can tell, the social worker involved in searches at my US agency was completely overworked and overextended. I ended up dealing directly with Holt, the Korean agency working in tandem with my US agency, because Mrs. Lee was actually responsive and able to get things done.

I'm fortunate in that Omma/my birth mom had left her Korean identification number when she relinquished me to Holt, so they were able to locate her fairly easily. Other adoptees are not so lucky; they are left on subways or abandoned in front of police stations. If any Korean adoptees are thinking about starting their search, I would encourage you to read GOA'L's step-by-step guidelines because they are very informative and helpful.

Elizabeth asked "I was also wondering if your adoptive parents wanted to go to Korea with you and also if your Omma asked about your adoptive parents?"

In one of her e-mails, Omma said she was grateful towards my parents for doing such a good job raising me. She also asked about them during the meeting when they came up in pictures in the album I gave her.

My adoptive parents did not display marked interest in joining me in Korea because they respected my independence in this search. They have been nothing but supportive and have let me "call the shots" as to how much information I share with them. Because they are good, self-assured people, they have never once felt threatened by my search.

On a related note, one thing that that I want to address is the attitude that I am in some way ungrateful towards my [adoptive] parents for undergoing this process. A few people have insinuated that I should feel lucky that my parents are not upset or threatened by my search.

While I recognize that not all adoptive parents are open to the idea of birth parent searches, this should not be the norm. I am happy that my [adoptive] parents are so supportive, but I would also expect nothing less of them. Because they are wonderful parents, I know that they embrace the entirety of my adoption and its permanent place in my life. They don't see my search as a threat, but rather as a really great opportunity for a new relationship.

In my opinion, any adoptive parent who feels threatened and hurt by a child's search needs to step back and evaluate his or her priorities. Feelings of insecurity, which are oftentimes unfounded, should not outweigh the positives of curiosity about one's birth country and biological family and the potential for a reunion.

And to lighten up, you're not hardcore unless you live hardcore...which we obviously do:

Blogger award & mint cake

2010-06-02T00:49:00.006-05:00

Recently, Aron gave me the "Versatile Blogger" award. Thanks, lady!

Per the "requirements" of this award, I am supposed to list seven random things about myself. This probably isn't very interesting, so I'll list seven photos that I didn't use in my trip posts.

1. This was the hair dryer provided by our hotel in Tokyo. I love Engrish:

2. My dad and I don't really see eye-to-eye on what constitutes a good photo. I prefer to take photos making silly faces and doing awkward things. My dad and sometimes my mom like to have me pose and look pretty. Inevitably, I feel awkward in my dainty position and end up taking a horrible photo...which always ends up in a scrap book or saved on someone's computer. I took this photo as a tribute to my parents.

3. Look! Everyone in this McDonald's ad is Asian! I'm lovin' it. (10 points if you can identify the country in which I went to this McDonald's. Hint: It's either Japan or S. Korea.)

4. This is how I felt walking up Namsan.

5. In the Coex Mall aquarium, there was a terrarium with squirrels (chipmunks?) in it. Hey, those aren't fish! Do you like how they tried to make the squirrels look like they live in a rustic woodsy tree house?

6. This kid kept getting separated from his mom in the kimchi museum AND in the aquarium. His mom (with the purple bag) would eventually realize and frantically yell for him from two rooms away. I got really annoyed with her bad parenting. C'mon lady, why do you think they invented kiddie leashes?

7. Noryangin Fish market. Do you see how big the crabs are in the top tank?

I'm supposed to tag 15 people, but that sounds like far too many. If you are in need of something to write, I tag you!

Today was dearest Brian's birthday. I made him chocolate mint cake. It was delicious, and I don't even like mint that much.

Kimbap & Mandu!/김밥 & 만두

2010-05-31T22:39:00.004-05:00

Since Korean food was delicious, cheap, and abundant in Seoul, I'm having a hard time coming to terms with the prices of the Korean restaurants here. (The same goes for sushi.)

Tonight, I tried making two different things for dinner:

First, tuna kimbap (Recipe linked), which is basically sushi but without raw fish. It is a pretty common, cheap meal in Korea, and a lot of people bring it on picnics. I even got to use my fancy new bamboo mat to roll it up. Whee!

(The weirdly shaped piece was the result of my dull knife.)

I also made mandu guk (Recipe linked), or "dumpling soup." I've made Chinese potstickers before, but this recipe was slightly different. The filling called for pork, beef, and tofu. Every time I make dumplings, I think to myself, "I will never do this again!" because it is labor intensive to sit alone and fold 60+ dumplings by hand. The results are always worth it though.

All in all, I was very pleased with this dinner. And just like all the meals we had in Korea, I was really, really full from the volume of food in my stomach. (I've decided that Korean food is awesome because I ate until I was really full all the time, but I still lost a little bit of weight. It probably helped that I ran around Namsan several times.)

Speaking of Namsan, here is the elevation chart from one of my runs:

Today, I ran six miles. It was rather humid and hot. Here are my splits:

10:08
9:54
9:42
9:32
9:38
9:36

Couples shirts!

2010-05-30T22:21:00.000-05:00

Bodger, sporting my Korean headband:

Street food is awesome!

Meeting Omma.

2010-05-30T01:00:00.013-05:00

This is Part II of my documentation of meeting my birth mom. If you missed Part I about our first communications via blog and e-mail, please go here.

On Wednesday, May 26th, at 2pm, the boyfriend and I arrived at the Holt Post Adoption Services Center in Seoul. I'm not going to lie--finding things in Seoul really sucks. Addresses and street names basically mean nothing, and we found the building by chance and some good guesswork.

Upon entering the building and trying to understand the receptionist's broken English, we met with Mrs. Lee, the case worker who has been handling my search from nearly the beginning. Mrs. Lee said that my birth mother and aunts were on their way but had gotten a little lost. (Shocking, right? Yay, Seoul!) The boyfriend and I were led to a small, sterile meeting room, with a table, some chairs, and a window. Mrs. Lee answered our basic questions and then left the room, shutting the door behind her.

What does nervously waiting for one's birth family to arrive look like? Like this:

About 20 minutes later, Mrs. Lee stuck her head in and said timidly, "They're here." Then she opened the door, and three women entered. I didn't expect to have a flash of recognition, and I did not know immediately which woman was my birth mom. Unlike many adoptees I know, I was relinquished a mere three hours after my birth. I didn't spend much time with my birth mom, and my tiny infant brain probably didn't imprint any memories for later recognition.

My birth mom hugged me first and for the longest time and immediately started to cry. Then I hugged both aunts, both tearing up, and mumbled something in Korean to the effect of "Nice to meet you!" (Understatement?) and then sat down next to my birth mom.

I didn't cry at all during the meeting. It makes me feel awkward when people cry in front of me, so I just kept telling everyone not to cry, patting my birth mom's hand, and trying to smile reassuringly. Fortunately, everyone dried their tears quickly, and there was no bawling or breast-beating as I had imagined.

Mrs. Lee did a great job translating. My birth mom said that she never thought she'd see me again and was relieved that I was happy and healthy. She and my aunts said that I looked pretty and smart and that we have the same chin and smile. Like me, she seems to be very organized, and she said that she used to be athletic, likes cooking (especially noodles), and has a dog. My birth mom gave me a few photos of her from her teenage and early 20's. I don't think we look strikingly alike, but we do have similar face shapes, noses, and smiles.

Note: It is getting really cumbersome to keep writing "birth mom," so I will henceforth refer to her as Omma, which is Korean for "Mom."

I heard all about my humongous Korean family. My two aunts are older than Omma, and they both have children and several grandchildren. I also have two more aunts, two uncles, and a grandmother on her side. My "second" aunt (wearing black) lives in Pusan, where I was born, and has known about me the longest. My "first" aunt (wearing white, with an arm sling), lives near Omma, and they have been visiting my blog together. When Omma was debating about meeting me, she finally confessed to my first aunt that I existed and asked for advice. First aunt said Omma had to meet me. According to First Aunt's logic, Omma has three children, but I only have one birth mom, so I should get to meet her.

Omma had told her husband that she was coming to Seoul for a two-day training session in the city. I'm not sure how my aunts corroborated her story, but I am thankful that they all took this risk to meet me.

Funny story: Omma and my aunts had been visiting my blog regularly and were judging my height in relation to other people in my photos. Since Running Buddy Lena towers over me, they were perplexed as to how I had gotten such short genes. During the meeting, they expressed their relief that I was not, in fact, a stunted adult.

I didn't really come to the meeting with any questions. I did ask about my birth father, and the answer I got was somewhat cloudy. Omma said that my birth father was well-educated and very handsome. Mrs. Lee said that it seemed like Omma had loved him very much and had really worked very hard to forget him. According to her translation, my birth father had cut Omma out of his life entirely, though the reason is not clear. Apparently, he had cheated on Omma with another woman. Omma told me not to think about my birth father and to think only of her instead. There was no mention of his illness, but it didn't seem appropriate to press the issue.

I gave Omma a photo album of photos that I had compiled right before I left for my trip. (Hence, why I was in such a rush to finish my final papers early.) She recognized some of the childhood photos from my blog, and she had even printed out a few to keep tucked in her planner. I was worried that seeing photos from my childhood might make her feel guilty again, but much to my relief, she seemed happy and not too sad to look over all the album. Like me, it seemed as though she was focusing on the positives of the reunion, rather than looking backwards towards the sad aspects of the circumstances surrounding my adoption.

Omma gave me a beautiful necklace with two gold hearts. She told me that she had given my half-sister an identical necklace for her recent birthday. While my half-sister doesn't know about me yet, Omma thinks that she may tell her eventually. She said she hoped that I would think of her whenever I wear the necklace, which is one of those poignant, movie-like moments, but in an awesome and not sappy way.

I had asked Alice to translate for later in the afternoon/evening, but an hour passed, and she did not arrive. I later learned that in a horrible twist of fate, she had been robbed of her purse and cellphone while riding the subway to meet us. Mrs. Lee stayed with us for as long as possible, and we were able to establish plans for later in the evening. Omma and my aunts were going to go to the grocery store and then check into their room (a serviced apartment in Seoul). The boyfriend and I would pick up clothes and then meet them for dinner and a "sleepover."

When we arrived around dinner time at the apartment building/hotel, we were greeted by delicious smells and a gigantic table of food.

Pickled garlic, homemade japchae (stir-fried noodles), tiny sardines with nuts, pickled cucumber, lettuce, kimchi, and pickled daikon. (Moo tari!)

Delicious bulgogi (marinated beef), fresh from the stove:

A plate of freshly fried fish, which Omma helped us eat:

Meanwhile, Omma and my aunts bustled around the kitchen and told us to sit and start eating:

Eating a home-cooked Korean meal by family you just met is an indescribably cool experience, even with a language barrier. I know about 100 words in Korean, so, like a toddler, I was able to point to things around the room and identify them. ("Chair! Refrigerator! Door!") Additionally, the boyfriend and first aunt used their basic Japanese to communicate. Meanwhile, Omma made sure that our plates were never empty and constantly told us to eat MORE. I was also complimented on my chopstick skills, so I am glad that I took the time to practice before we left.

For dessert, the boyfriend and I picked up a cake, which was tasty, but nothing compared to the feast that Omma and aunts had prepared:

Also, can we talk about how Omma is BEAUTIFUL?

When the boyfriend and I were stuffed, we all sat on the couch watching a Korean drama. Omma got ready for bed and then ran to 7-Eleven to buy cookies and snacks. Meanwhile, my hilarious aunts ate melon and oranges and strange rice cake snacks:

Then we all pretended to be models for Hite beer (which tastes just like Budweiser) because we are awesome like that:

My aunts like to tease each other a lot. Eventually, the evening devolved into us sitting around the tables, rubbing our full stomachs and saying, "ttungttung!" ("Chubby!") Then aunts and Omma started calling each other "ttungttung" and pointed to one another's stomachs, saying "Namsan" (as in Namsan, the giant mountain I ran up every day).

Sleeping was good and fine, and I learned that my aunts (and Omma) are all very good at snoring. I shared the queen bed with Omma, and she pointed out that we have a similar body shape (hips and a small waist) and big calves.

For breakfast the next morning in the lobby, cultural differences became apparent. The boyfriend and I ate jam, toast, eggs, juice, and fruit (including these strange rambutans, which Omma had to peel for me).

Omma and my aunts, by contrast, ate kimchi, bean paste soup, eggs, and seaweed.

Fortified with our contrasting breakfasts, we headed out for a day of shopping. Omma and my aunts insisted on finding us "couples shirts," which are just what they sound like--matching shirts for couples. As if she hadn't already given me enough, Omma was really eager to buy me lots of things, and I eventually had to explain that I really was not in need of anything.

We headed to Myeongdong for some ice cream and group photos:

Omma also bought us some kkultarae, which are fine threads of honey wrapped around nuts and fruit. The little strings are hard to eat:

Another awesome thing about Omma? She is the best driver ever. She backed into this tiny parking space perfectly in a claustrophobia-inducing garage:

And was not at all startled by the throngs of Seoulites who walked in front of her car. :)

For lunch, First aunt told us that we were going to eat sashimi since the boyfriend had said that he loved sushi and raw fish. We piled into the car, and Omma headed to the Noryangin fish market.

I know nothing about picking out fish (especially when they are still swimming in tanks), but Omma and aunts were quite the discerning shoppers:

How does one pick fish at Noryangin? First, the stall owner uses a giant hook and a net to fling a fish onto the ground for inspection:

After being deemed worthy of purchase/consumption, these fish are loaded into a basket:

And then decapitated and beaten with a mallet by this fish executioner:

Yum/WHAT?!

With a bag of freshly filet-ed flounder and scary-fish in hand, Omma directed us to one of the restaurants down below the market. The server takes your bag and your cooking instructions and then brings you your food. In this case, a gigantic plate of raw fish:

They showed us how to make little rolls of out of rice, perilla and lettuce leaves, fish slices, various vegetables, and sauces. Omma also saved the best part of this snail for me--the mouth. She kept motioning that it would make me strong.

Just when I thought I was going to explode from the sheer volume of fish, vegetables, and side dishes in my stomach, the server came in with a gas burner and a huge bowl of meyongtang, or fish stew:

I had mentioned the day before that I liked sujebi, so, of course, Omma and aunts ordered the server to make the soup into sujebi. The server came in with a giant ball of dough, which she tore into thin little strips and dropped in the boiling cauldron of soup:

Then she was nice enough to take a group photo:

Let me tell you, I have never seen anyone eat like Korean women. They really know how to put it away. I think I eat a lot, but apparently, Omma was worried that we hadn't eaten enough dinner or lunch. She kept refilling our bowls and plates and offering us morsels of fish that she had pulled from the bones.

This is the aftermath of our meal for five:

After lunch, it was suddenly time for Omma and my aunts to start their long drive back home. (They live in cities in the southern part of Korea.) They braved more crazy Seoul traffic and took me and the boyfriend back to our guesthouse. Worried that we hadn't eaten enough (SO FULL!), they also gave us a giant bag of leftovers from the evening before.

Saying "good-bye" was much harder than saying "hello" had been, just 24 hours before. Omma held my hand and spoke to Mrs. Lee on the cellphone, asking her to translate our goodbyes. Over the phone, Mrs. Lee told me that Omma was very happy to meet me and was very sorry that she wouldn't be able to see us off at the airport when we left Korea. I told Mrs. Lee to thank Omma for everything and tell her that I was sorry that I didn't know more Korean to communicate with her. I promised to come back as soon as possible and work very hard on my language skills. When they said goodbye, Omma and my two aunts hugged me and said "I love you" in English. As I'm sure you can imagine, I started crying at this point, but it was okay because everyone else was too (minus the boyfriend, who gave everyone tissues). Then Omma and aunts piled into her Kia and drove away, waving the whole time. (About an hour and a half later, she sent me a text message that said "Mica! I love!")

Since then, she has written me a few e-mails to confirm that I got home safely and tell me how much she misses me already. (So many thanks to my friend Stephanie for her willingness to translate and awesome tri-lingual skills.)

"It’s been a difficult trip, right? Right about now, you’re probably on the plane. After seeing you, I miss you even more and I regret not being able to hug you to my heart’s content. I resent myself for that. I wonder when we are going to see each other again. I can’t seem to be able to do anything because I think of you all day. I wonder if you are eating well… how you are managing to get all that luggage back home. When I think of you going to the airport without anyone there to see you off, it breaks my heart. I wonder if I should have gone to see your pretty self at the airport… Stay healthy… I’ll email you often mica~~ bye~~!!"

I'm not really sure how to conclude this very long post except by saying that I feel incredibly lucky to have found my birth mom and part of my family. Some people have asked me if I feel a sense of closure having now met her. Since I didn't embark on this search seeking answers to major, gnawing questions (e.g., "Who am I?"), I don't really think there are any doors that needed closing. Instead, I am excited to have a wonderful connection to Korea and to integrate the culture, language, and people into my adult life. From here, the first step I can take is to learn some Korean, and the goal of being able to speak with and write to Omma is one of the greatest motivators I could possibly imagine. I see this experience as completely positive, and I am very excited to see where it takes me.

Thank you for following along with me as I initiated and pursued my search. And please feel free to comment or contact me with more specific questions. Reading about other adoptees' experiences in looking for their birth parents was incredibly helpful, so I wanted to document this as fully as possible, both for myself and for anyone else who may be considering a search.

First communication from my birth mom.

2010-05-30T00:03:00.006-05:00

This is Part I of my documentation of meeting my birth mom for the first time. Please continue reading Part II about the face-to-face reunion here.

On May 8th, 2010, I received my first communication from my birth mom. The case worker at Holt had told me that my birth mom was visiting my blog often and was composing a letter to me in Korean. (She doesn't speak English.) I figured that this letter would come through Holt first, so you can imagine my surprise when an e-mail entirely in Korean showed up in my inbox. I was in the middle of composing the week's grocery list. It took four hours to get back a translation from my friend Alice, and I cannot thank her enough for taking the time to work on the letter in the middle of exam period.

I will not post the entire contents of my birth mom's message here. They are personal and must have taken great courage to compose. In short, she expressed feelings of guilt, love, and curiosity towards me and apologized for being unable to raise me herself. To explain her original response to my contact, she wrote:

" The person who knows your birth was only me and my sister, and that might also be a reason that I was so puzzled at your news.
However after that short moment, as times goes by, I was so badly want to see you because you're my daughter."

I also learned from this and subsequent e-mails that she has four sisters and two brothers and that her mother (my maternal grandmother) is still alive. Additionally, I have two half-siblings, a younger sister and a younger brother, who are both in college.

Most importantly, my birth mom said that she planned to come with two of her sisters to Seoul on May 26th to meet me. Over the next week and a half, she e-mailed me to say how excited she was about our meeting and how much she was looking forward to seeing me.

...Yeah, try writing a final paper on a subject that doesn't interest you when those e-mails keep popping up in your inbox...

Once I arrived in Tokyo for the first part of our trip, I received an e-mail from Mrs. Lee, the case worker at Holt, confirming the date and time of our meeting. Mrs. Lee would act as a translator for the meeting at the Holt office. She also told me that my birth mother planned to stay overnight in Seoul and wanted me to stay with her and her sisters.

While I was really excited to meet my birth mom in person, this last bit really overwhelmed me. The idea of spending the night with my birth mom, who was essentially a complete stranger, was pretty intimidating. I was afraid of the language barrier and also worried that she would do motherly things like try to bathe me and braid my hair. However, I decided that no matter how awkward I might feel, it was important to jump at this opportunity. I'm not a very big risk taker, but this seemed like an important one.

I'm sure it sounds cliché to extol the "magic" of the Internet. Nevertheless, I want to acknowledge that without my blog and e-mail, it would have been much more difficult, if not impossible, for me to meet my birth mom. Viewing my photos allowed her a safe and anonymous way to check on me and contemplate the weighty decision of meeting me face-to-face. I feel fortunate that her motherly curiosity won out in the end, and I am so thankful that through Internet communication, I am able to correspond almost instantaneously with her.

To read about my reunion with my birth mom, please continue to this post.

Last night/day in Seoul.

2010-05-29T00:37:00.005-05:00

I feel fortunate to have once again cheated death and successfully flown over the Pacific Ocean. The boyfriend and I are back in our apartment, which did not burn down in our absence. Illinois looks dark and flat compared to hilly and neon-filled Seoul.

I will write about meeting my birth mom and aunts soon as many people have expressed interest in hearing about my experience. However, 1am after a 12-hour flight and 2-hour drive is not the time to address my reunion.

For our last night in Seoul, we met up with Kim and Mark, who had just returned to take Korean language courses as Sogang University. Kim is also an adoptee, and I lurked on her blog for awhile to read about her reunions with both of her birth parents. It was really great and fitting to meet Kim right after seeing my birth mom because she could understand and appreciate a lot of things that had happened from an adoptee's perspective.

After wandering around looking for a "Dr. Fish" spa (where hundreds of tiny fish eat the dead skin off of your feet), our unsuccessful search led us to a café for coffee and green tea lattes. Poor Mark was really hungry after a few hours of conversation, so we headed across the street for samgyupsal, which is pork belly that we cooked on a grill in the table.

A grill, filled with burning coals, inlaid in our wooden table. Yeah, you don't see that in the US um...ever.

Samgyupsal apparently translates to "three layers of fat." It is fatty and delicious when cooked over live coals, something like really good bacon.

I asked one of the restaurant owners (?) to take a photo, but he was baffled by the DSLR. I had to show him how to use the camera, and I caught everyone off guard:

Group shot! Two adoptees and two...white guys!

On Friday morning, the boyfriend and I did our last runs on Namsan. I managed four miles, and the boyfriend ran up the entire freakin' mountain. I will miss that running path, and I am sad that my legs will get weak now with Illinois' lack of hills.

For lunch, we headed out to Myeongdong for some last-minute shopping and street-food consumption.

I finally got a giant green tea and yogurt swirly ice cream cone. Note: I am not sticking it in my nose; it just looks like I am.

Delicious!

The boyfriend finally got his delicious "corn dog."

Why does that "corn dog" look like some kind of gnobbly medieval club/torture device? Because it is covered in French fries and re-fried, of course!

Check out the fried-to-hot-dog ratio:

After eating this, the boyfriend made a lot of "corn dog burps." Gross. Here is the experience in his own words:

"It was delicious, but I wouldn't eat two."

We departed Korea from Incheon airport, which is new, clean, and beautiful. It even has a little Korean history/culture room where you can do crafts. Ladies in hanboks walk around and assist all the tourists in butchering Korean traditions beyond all recognition.

We decided to make traditional headbands. They were supposed to look like this:

The process involved a lot of ribbon-folding and double-sided tape:

I think they turned out okay...

The flight itself was relatively uneventful...minus some weirdo Chinese woman who started speaking to me in Chinese. Later, she wedged in front of me during baggage claim and whacked me with her backpack. She sucks.

Also, the boyfriend would like me to mention that a little Chinese boy was running around the baggage claim area...without pants. I love being greeted back in the US by tiny wieners!

On that note, time to go unpack and go to bed. Thanks for following along in my travels.

The one to my left.

2010-05-27T10:48:00.008-05:00

(First aunt, Second aunt, Me, Birth mom)

Markets, not my thing.

2010-05-25T09:17:00.006-05:00

Today, I made a concerted effort to combat my illness with sleep. This was somewhat interrupted by a local politician driving his campaign truck through the street outside our window and blaring very loud music at 8am. Mayor elections are coming up soon, and it is nearly impossible to go anywhere in Seoul without being accosted by campaigners or having to wind around politicians gesticulating wildly and making sincere promises in Korean.

...but that's another story.

I woke up feeling pretty good this morning, though I am hacking up quite a bit of green mucus. I managed a four-mile run around Namsan walking trail today, and I congratulated myself heartily on making it up probably 75% of most of the hills. (I walked the rest.) As usual, I was put to shame by the old and blind (!!) people running around Namsan. To help myself up the hills, I adopted what I like to call the "old Korean man" technique. It involves shuffling slowly and leaning forward and swinging one's arms in tight, backward and forward motions. Hat, vest, and gloves are optional.

For lunch, we went to a strange "diner" in the middle of Myeong-dong. It served bizarre Western-Asian fusion, including katsu (deep-fried pork cutlets). The boyfriend got one which was also covered in cheese and sweet potato and unidentifiable sauce. He was quite pleased with his choice until the full weight of it hit his stomach. Then he moaned a lot about being full.

After lunch, we headed to Dongdaemun market. It was still raining, so we didn't do too much wandering around. In fact, I've discovered that I don't really like exploring in markets in Seoul. I don't like meandering through huge throngs of people and avoiding being run over by mopeds and cars. And I'm not much of a shopper, so stall-after-stall of stuff doesn't really appeal. That said, they are good for photos.

These are Korean melons. They kind of taste like crunchy canteloupe.

The Cheonggye stream runs through this part of Seoul. I wanted to walk along it, but the weather was still rainy.

Dongdaemun is famous for its night shopping and wholesale products. We went into one HUGE complex filled with fabric and trimmings. It was super crowded and scary, so I didn't take many pictures. One floor sold hanboks (traditional Korean dress).

Seoul is a strange mix of new and old architecture:

After exiting the scary fabric labyrinth, we found ourselves in a small alleyway which smelled of grilled/smoked fish:

Note: if you so much as LOOK at the fish, you will immediately unleash a stream of yelling, pointing, and toothy grinning as the shopkeeper tries to entice you inside. Then you look at the ground and run away!

Ginseng is a huge deal in Korea. They sell it everywhere.

Street food here, like everywhere, is extremely fried, greasy, and awesome. Somehow, everyone eats it, but most people are pretty thin. Check out Ms. Legs McGee scarfing it down over here:

Having had enough of markets, we escaped into the air conditioned luxury of Doota mall to look at expensive shoes and strange Korean fashion. The top floor had a roof garden, a Red Mango, and an excellent view.

Outside, there was a whack-a-mole.

Next, we took a 50-minute subway ride across the river to Gangnam, Seoul's main business district. My friend Stella whom I tutored in English last semester met us for dinner.

Meeting up with Stella was such a relief. For one, she did all the talking and ordering so I didn't have to point and look like a dummy. Additionally, Stella is very chill and unlike many Seoullite girls that I have seen. For example, she doesn't wear a ton of make-up and totter around in stiletto heels and skin-tight jeans, while simultaneously fixing her hair in a compact mirror and clutching onto a boy's arm.

We went to a tofu restaurant for dinner and then poked around looking for a Korean-English dictionary and products to make my hair shiny and glossy. Unfortunately, all places seemed to be sold out of the latter. Sad times. :(

Now, I better get to bed. Tomorrow is a really big day, and I might not be posting at night. Stay tuned!

Into the misty mountains we go!

2010-05-24T07:13:00.006-05:00

This morning, we started out by figuring out (sort of) the Seoul bus system. Unfortunately, none of the drivers speak English, which was sort of a problem. We solved said problem by asking the front desk man at our guest house to write a sign that said "Please tell us when you get to 63Building. Thank you."

The bus driver kind of looked at me like I was a pathetic, three-legged puppy when I held up the sign, but he did get us where we needed to go!

The plan was to meet Mrs. Yoo, who the aunt of Monica, a friend of my family's. Mrs. Yoo was waiting, as planned, at the bus stop and immediately whisked us up to her cozy apartment overlooking the business/administrative district of Seoul.

Mrs. Yoo speaks very broken English, but fortunately, her other niece "Jay Jay," was visiting from Australia and acted as a translator.

We were served sweet potatoes, glutinous rice with chestnuts and dried fruit, very expensive tea (with health benefits?), and strange digestive biscuits.

And apple and Korean melon:

Group photo!

Mrs. Yoo, her niece, and her daughter all kept remarking that I look much younger than 24. I think we all look much younger than our actual ages.

Jay-Jay and Mrs. Yoo's daughter went off to an appointment, so Mrs. Yoo's friend came over to translate in somewhat less proficient English. Upon hearing that we had no schedule for the afternoon, they packed us into Mrs. Yoo's Honda Accord and off we went.

...Seoul driving is nuts. It appears that stopping is optional at red lights, and it is acceptable to make a U-turn in the middle of a crowded street. Mrs. Yoo also drives as if she were a race car driver in a former life.

The drive took about an hour, and I can honestly say that I have no idea where we went. After getting out of the stop-and-go Seoul traffic, we began passing bizarre high rise apartment buildings nestled in the foothills outside of the city.

By the time we entered a mountain pass, I was pretty sure that I was having some kind of bizarre, surreal dream. I was beginning to get dizzy from hunger and nauseous from Mrs. Yoo's constant braking. Additionally, we began passing what looked like some kind of bizarre tourist towns with gigantic "hotels" and "motels" ("motel"=place for rent-by-the-hour sex rooms in Korea) made to look like alpine lodges and medieval castles. There were signs for restaurants such as "No Name Cafe" and "IL cafe" and several brightly colored statues and figurines on the side of the road.

Eventually, Mrs. Yoo pulled into a roadside restaurant serving Chinese-Korean food and handmade noodles. I was served a gigantic bowl of jjampong (seafood and noodle soup) with whole squids, mushrooms, shrimp, and homemade noodles:

The poor boyfriend wins the "good sport" award for the day. He was extremely car sick from the hilly mountain roads, and his nausea was compounded by an empty stomach. Nevertheless, he ate his noodles and kept it all down with a gracious smile on his face.

Meanwhile, Mrs. Yoo and her friend were extremely motherly and kept asking if we had eaten enough and if we enjoyed the food. They also kept pressing us to eat more fried pork strips:

Filled with homemade noodles, we got back in the car and drove up the switchback mountain roads towards a Buddhist temple that Mrs. Yoo wanted to show us. At this point, the area no longer looked like a developed, Westernized nation. There were pots and big gardens, cows in pens, and lush trees dripping with rain water.

...Just when I thought the road couldn't get more village-y, Mrs. Yoo turned onto a dirt (actually, mud) road and revved her car to tackle a huge hill. I was sure that we were going to have to dig her car out of the mud in the afternoon rain, but she, like many Korean women, goes after what she wants. And what she wanted was to show us that temple.

All of a sudden, we arrived in front of this:

Yup. A giant temple guarded by stone dogs. In the middle of some misty, rainy Korean mountains. Completely deserted. You cannot make this stuff up.

Mrs. Yoo is apparently quite a devout Buddhist and often does overnight temple stays here (hence why she could find it...even when the GPS had no idea where we were). She was eager to show us around.

(Mrs. Yoo and her friend shared an umbrella. Adorable!)

I had a hard time understanding what this statue was for, but it is surrounded by bells. In good weather, the monks ring them so that the prayers reverberate all through the mountains.

Some people have their own personal Budda statuettes that line the walls of the temple:

When we asked how old this temple was, we were told "11 years." I guess it's relatively new, but it could have fooled me!

Inside the temple, Mrs. Yoo instructed us on lighting incense and praying for various things (longevity, happiness, wellness, etc.) Then her friend told us in somewhat broken English about how bowing 108 times daily is good for dieting. (This made no sense to me, so maybe the meaning was lost in translation. It seems that praying to Budda for dieting success is the ultimate manifestation of earthly bondage. And from what I learned in 9th grade World Cultures, Buddhism tries to transcend such things...)

Mrs. Yoo had brought several empty plastic bottles with her. At this point, I could have believed that the Buddist temple also doubled as a recycling center. However, it turns out that the mountain streams yield extremely clear water, so she refills with each visit. She and her friend are both quite petite ladies, but they hauled those full bottles back to the car and wouldn't let me or the boyfriend help.

The scenery was so classic and stereotypically Korean. It really did live up to the country name "The land of morning calm." Except that it was 2:30pm and raining like mad.

After another jerky, hour-long ride, we arrived back in Seoul. It is really hard to believe that we had just been in the mountains at a temple that I couldn't find ever again.

All in all, it was a very strange and memorable day. I definitely saw things that most tourists don't see--the inside of a Seoullite's apartment, a temple, and a side-of-the-road diner. Despite feeling like I was going to puke all over the nice leather seats of Mrs. Yoo's car, I had a lovely, unexpected time. Mrs. Yoo and her family and friend were warm and welcoming to me and the boyfriend, who were basically complete strangers. And if I learned anything today, it is that Korean women are blessed with supernatural fiestiness, friendliness, and determination. No wonder they are always walking all over Namsan!

To mull over the day, the boyfriend and I ventured out again in the rain (Yes, it is still raining.) for dinner and fermented rice wine, which looked deceptively like milk.

And tasty corn-shaped pastries filled with cream. Delicious!

Now, time for bed. I'm hoping to get several hours of sleep. It is still rainy and wet here, and the boyfriend is starting to feel sick. Awesome.

Subterranean Seoul

2010-05-23T10:09:00.005-05:00

This morning, I managed a 3.5-mile run up part of Namsan mountain this morning, but I called it quits early in an attempt to be nice to my immune system. Today, there were tons of older Koreans out, wearing silly exercise clothes (visors, bright pink vests, etc.) and doing funny sit-ups and being generally adorable. The boyfriend said that towards the end of his run, an old Korean man gave him the thumbs up!

It has been raining non-stop in Asia. Seriously. This business needs to stop.

Since the forecast was still calling for rain today (and forevaaaaar), we headed to Coex Mall, which is a humongous underground shopping center. I imagine that it is like the Mall of America, but underground. There are several restaurants in addition to a large food court, four hotels, a big movie theater, and so much more.

For example, there is the Kimchi museum, which tells you all about the wondrous history and health benefits of pickled cabbage. I learned that it's good for your colon:

There was a tasting room with several different varieties. I did my best to express my feeling of [radish] kimchi with face:

Two seconds later, I realized that I had dribbled kimchi juice all over myself:

There was also a fun place to pose and say "kimchi!"

Jessica, this is for you:

Also inside the Coex Mall? A full aquarium! There was some weird exhibit at the beginning with common household objects (toilets, bed frames, fridges, etc.) turned into fish tanks. Some domineering Korean girl made her boyfriend take a picture like this by the mailbox-aquarium. When in Rome/Seoul...

The World Cup is coming soon! Obviously, the world needs more goldfish chasing after a soccer ball. Fighting!

This electric eel looked like a giant dong. I announced this loudly to the boyfriend in front of a ton of children...who mercifully could not understand/appreciate my crassness.

I love cheesey photo ops:

Towards the end of the exhibits, there was a giant underwater tunnel with a moving walkway. While moving at an excruciatingly slow pace, you could observe the sharks and sea turtles. However, apparently, the cool thing to do is to ignore all the animals and instead, to take couples pictures. I know this because I saw approximately 23983284230 couples doing the same thing.

Blind cave salamanders! I love these things. In third grade, I made a model of a cave and put a fake one in it:

After the aquarium, we wandered around the mall for awhile. I kind of hate shopping, but I did look around for some gifts and then found some Korean textbooks and workbooks to teach myself. I think I did a good job contributing to South Korea's economy today.

Dinner was quite an adventure. Following a suggestion in the guidebook, we found a hole-in-the-wall diner in the business district. The guidebook failed the mention that no one in the restaurant would speak English. Fortunately, they had one menu in English.

We tried the house specialities: mandu (dumplings--not pictured), sujebi (thick, hand-torn noodles in an egg and chicken broth),

...and kimbap!

Tomorrow, we are going to try to figure out the bus system to visit a friend of the family's family. Let's hope we don't wind up in...who knows where.

We climbed a mountain.

2010-05-22T09:41:00.001-05:00

Up from our guesthouse (which is dingy but functional, by the way), there is a giant hill and an exercise trail with a rubberized road. The boyfriend and I decided to go running (separately, of course) this morning.

...Um, hills? What are those? And not just little blips in the road! There were some serious elevation changes since I was running on the side of Namsan mountain. I managed five miles at an 11-something pace because I had to stop and walk up some of the hills. Hills+Illness=Bad news.

One of these men is blind, so he is tethered to his running buddy.

To make matters worse, Koreans were flying past me the entire time. No wonder everyone has big calves here. Stupid hills.

Later in the morning, we braved Namsan Mountain again for the walking trail up to the N Seoul Tower at the top.

The exercise and walking trails are so pretty, with little benches to sit and contemplate waterfalls:

I really struggled up the hill today. In fact, I told the boyfriend several times that I needed to sit down and contemplate my life decisions, such as deciding to walk up the hill instead of taking the cable car. I will blame my fatigue on (1) my sinus infection and (2) the fact that I had just done five miles of hill run-walking.

I also got extremely sweaty for seemingly no reason. Plenty of Koreans were walking up in impractical exercise clothes without a hint of dewy perspiration. Meanwhile, I was dripping. It was embarrassing.

(This is at the beginning of the stairs to the Tower.)

Did I mention that we saw several women in high heels jauntily walking up this hill/mountain? Oh, and a guy CARRYING his child on his back? And a 90-year-old woman? What the heck, Korea! You are full of supernaturally fit people!

This was taken from one of the lookout points about halfway up the mountain:

At the top, there were people in some kind of traditional costume. I should have read more about what was going on, but I was considering passing out in sweaty heap:

Though who am I kidding? I love this stuff! (Notice that I am wearing my CHI marathon wicking t-shirt because I knew that it would be a workout to get to the top of this damn mountain.)

(We didn't go in the Tower because it was crowded.)

In the afternoon, we headed to Namdaemun market, which is an open-air market selling basically everything: knock-offs, jeans (that are all for bird-legged girls), wrapping paper, glasses, cookware, ginseng in all forms, chocolate-covered seaweed, etc. There are even wigs:

Seoul: The most perpetually crowded place on Earth.

Lots of streetfood vendors were stirring these vats of what looked like bugs. I think they must be pupae of some kind (silkworm?). The boyfriend said that they were one of the most unpleasant smelling things he had ever experienced. I couldn't breathe through my nose, but I took his word for it:

Fortunately, they also sold hoddeok (pancakes filled with peanuts and molten cinnamon sugar). I grabbed it before the boyfriend devoured it for a photo op.

The boyfriend was quite pleased to eat one, though he said a couple bites had been permeated by the gross bug smell.

The cup in which it was served even had a useful message:

After sitting for a long time in a tea restaurant and people watching, I was feeling kind of feverish and cold.

(I don't want to taste "him," whoever he is.)

The answer to a sinus infection? Ibuprofen and shabu-shabu!

Shabu-shabu, which Elana had suggested, is kind of like a mix between Chinese hot pot and fondu. You get a giant mountain of bean sprouts and vegetables:

And thinly sliced raw meat:

And you dunk all of this into a giant vat of boiling broth (fueled by a giant burner on the table).

It was quite a tasty dinner, and it did a good job clearing my sinuses. After wandering around in the Daehangno area for awhile, we headed back to Myeongdong for waffles with ice cream. Why hasn't this caught on in the States?

My appetite was pretty depressed all day, but it came back with a vengeance tonight! Thank goodness. Maybe I'm on the mend! I have a long list of tasty food that I want to find in Seoul. Maybe I should run all the way up Namsan tomorrow...

South Korea's got Seoul!

2010-05-21T07:04:00.005-05:00

This morning, after a 3.5-mile run, I said good-bye to Tokyo. I'm sad that we didn't book more time there, but I think we did an admirable job of cramming a lot into our few days in the city.

The travel to Seoul was relatively painless...until we arrived at the subway stop for our guesthouse. The guidebook and Internet directions neglected to mention that our guesthouse is actually most of the way up a gigantic hill, Namsan ("san" means "mountain" in Korean). Let me tell you, lugging a 45-lb. suitcase up a small mountain is no easy task.

I'm definitely sick now. I'm all stopped up, and I sound like I have laryngitis. We decided to keep it low-key tonight. After descending from our mountain keep, we entered Myeong-dong, which is the area for college kids and adolescents.

...Yeah, "low key." Not so much. For anyone who has been the Quartier Latin/Latin Quarter in Paris, it's like that...but on crack. All the street vendors and restaurants remind me of New York too. There is a ridiculous amount of neon everywhere, advertising stores and restaurants. People solicit you to come buy or eat God-knows-what (perfume, shoes, socks, make-up shaped like fruit, etc.), and there are street vendors selling every kind of fried food imaginable. I can tell that I'm sick because a fried potato on a stick didn't sound all that appealing...

I can't really describe Myeong-dong on a Friday night, so instead, I'll just post pictures.

Dinner was dolsot bibimbap (rice and vegetables with spicy sauce in a freakin' hot stone bowl):

I look "like" everyone here (I actually don't think I do.), but I feel out of place:

Though I don't stand out as much as the boyfriend does:

Consumerism!

Why cars are allowed on these winding alleyways is beyond me....

A dog with a mohawk:

K-pop stuff. Who are these boys?

Roasted corn and chestnuts:

Even though my sickness is depressing my appetite (or maybe I was just stuffed full of bibimbap), I mustered the energy for ice cream. Hey, it was 1000 won (=under a dollar). Yes!

Time to go massage my keun peh ("big stomach") and hit the sack. I hope I can kick this illness tomorrow.

Weird Tokyo.

2010-05-20T07:34:00.006-05:00

This morning, I woke up with a raging sore throat. You know, the kind that prefaces a sinus infection. It has stayed with me all day, and I feel pretty gross. It was our last day in Tokyo though, so we tried to make the most of it. Sadly, it rained all day. Good thing I don't care about my hair, which got plenty frizzy.

You know the image of weird, sexually repressed Tokyo with hentai comic books? Yeah, we found that today. We started out in the Akihabara Electronics district, which is a dork's dream come true.

Electronics and anime stuff everywhere. And Super Nintendo!

Akihabara is also filled with maid cafés, which are exactly what they sound like: restaurants employed by girls dressed as French maids. The lucky ones get to stand out in the rain and solicit customers:

There was also a large and disturbing selection of anime porn ("hentai"). I didn't want to take any pictures because it was so gross and creepy. Here's an example of a conversation we had while browsing the selection of books:

Me: Ew, no one's boobs squish like that! What is that? Oh look, that girl has a carrot coming out of her v-jay-jay.
Boyfriend: Actually, I think someone put it in there.

Want some of these?

Fortunately, we got out of Akihabara and headed for Jimbocho booksellers' district. Apparently, Jimbocho is also home to all the sporting goods stores in Tokyo. I found a running store and marveled at the selection (No Brooks though!).

The book shops in Jimbocho were pretty cool...except that I can't read anything in Japanese. I mean, really, I can't read anything. All the books open from the back, and everything is written from top to bottom!

We stopped at a supermarket to get some cough drops. Outside, there was a vending machine selling one of the more popular Japanese drink brands: Calpis!

Inside, there was a large selection of various fried things:

The boyfriend picked up some Pocari Sweat, which is sort of like an electrolyte replacement drink. He said it tasted like Gatorade:

A lot of the restaurants in Tokyo show off their various specialties with plastic models. None of them look very appetizing:

Back at the hotel, we were greeted by the shoes of the 12348301294130 students who are staying here as well:

For dinner, we walked in the rain in search of an Indian restaurant recommended by my guide book. On the way, we found a cool store:

The Indian was good, though vindaloo was noticeably lacking from the menu:

Now, we are having an ice cream party in the hotel room. Tomorrow, we leave Tokyo for Seoul. It has been quite an eventful three days. I might try to slow down the pace a little bit in Seoul since I'm convinced that being such a hardcore traveler is making me sick (That and all this stupid rain).

We found James in Tokyo

2010-05-19T08:04:00.006-05:00

After another 5-miler around the Imperial Palace, we hopped on the subway over to Roppongi. En route, I started feeling quite nauseous and had to get off the train and hold my head between my legs. I think my body was pretty freaked out from all of the travel, different food, time change adjustments, and walking. Eventually, I got a Coke from a vending machine to help settle my stomach. Fortunately, I did not puke on the subway. I think I would have been banned from ever entering Japan again....

After a lunch at an Italian restaurant where we couldn't understand the waiters, we met up in Harajuku with my friend and former tutee James, who is studying abroad this semester in Tokyo. Unfortunately, it was raining quite a bit so we didn't see much of Harajuku. From what I could tell, the fashion is just as strange as Gwen Stefani's back-up singers make it look...

We went to a shrine dating from the Meiji restoration. Before entering the main area, you were supposed to cleanse your mouth and hands with water:

There was an enormous walkway:

This was the inside of the main "complex":

And a wall covered with wish tablets:

After filling our "reflective" quota for the day, we headed to Omotesando, a big shopping district (sort of like Beverly Hills). We checked out the inside of Omotesando Hills, which had a strange architectural layout:

Trying to wait out the rain, we stopped for expensive tea and afternoon cake at a French cafe:

Though it was still raining, we forged ahead toward Shibuya. On the way, we stopped for tako balls, which are little fritters filled with octopus chunks. They pour batter into rounded out molds and quickly spin the dough around with chopsticks to make the ball shape. It looks like something that I would screw up royally.

Inside, the balls are a mess of filling and octopus. They are very hot.

We went into a couple stores, including one called "TomorrowLand" or something. It was quite expensive. We also stopped in "Tokyu Hands," which was similar to multi-purpose Target.

...except the toilets are terrifying. I definitely cannot use a squat toilet, so I found the one Western model in the bathroom.

(This is not a sideways urinal photo. It is actually mounted in the ground like this and you squat over it.)

James took us to a famous bookstore (Logo) to look at the wide selection of books and magazines in all different languages. Isn't it nice to know that Zac Efron transcends international boundaries?

For dinner, we went to a sushi restaurant with a conveyor belt. While these types of sushi restaurants are kind of pricey in the US, they're a deal in Tokyo. The boyfriend and I both ate our fill (and then some) of sushi for about $25...and you don't even have to tip.

There is a seven-plate minimum, but we smashed it:

After dinner (It was still raining.), we walked around Shibuya, which is kind of like Times Square with lots of neons and shopping. Unlike Times Square, it mostly caters to young people.

Outside of the subway station, we found the famous Hachiko statue. Hachiko was a very famous dog who loyally came to the station every day waiting for his master to come home. Sadly, his master had died, and no one bothered to tell poor Hachiko. Everyone in Japan loves this story, and Hachiko has been immortalized in popular legend, as well as in statue-form.

After we said our good-byes to James, the boyfriend and I checked out a pachinko parlor. Pachinko is kind of like pinball except without much skill involved. Basically, you fling a ton of little metal balls into a machine which makes a lot of noise and flashes scary lights. It is supposedly a popular pasttime in Tokyo, but we could not figure out how it works. I managed to snap this photo before a scary girl in a modernized kimono told me to put my camera away:

My legs are screaming at me from all the walking and running that I have put in the past two days. Time for bed, yo!

Central Tokyo for the win!

2010-05-18T07:43:00.002-05:00

Today began with a 4am wake-up call. We walked to the Tsukiji fish market, which is the largest seafood market in the world. It also opens at the ungodly hour of 5am. It was definitely an intense experience. Between dodging crazy truck and trolley drivers and trying to avoid being sloshed with a mixture of fish blood and sea water, I managed to snap a lot of pictures.

(I have no idea what these are.)

In this photo, a group of Asian tourists watch as men hack apart a gigantic tuna carcass. It took three men and a three-foot saw.

After breakfast and the requisite time to digest, we went for a 5-mile run around the Imperial Palace. Because Tokyo is so far at the eastern part of the time zone, it was more like mid-day when we went out at 10:45am. Running in Tokyo is an experience. For one, you're not supposed to jaywalk, and you have to wait for most, if not all, of the walk signals. This made the first mile of my run pretty stop-and-go, but the palace has a nice uninterrupted sidewalk all around its perimeter.

I also got a lot of disapproving stairs from severe-looking Tokyo business men. While there were a few female runners around the palace (Okay, um, 2), I generally felt pretty out of place in my brightly colored running singlet and Nike shorts.

After cleaning up, we actually went to the Imperial Palace to walk around in the gardens. At the rest house, there were delicious ice cream snacks. The ice cream was sandwiched in a nice waffle package, so no dripping, even though it was really sunny and hot!

There was a nice Japanese garden in the palace. It even had a miniature waterfall and stream. Here I am, pointing it out for your viewing pleasure:

The gardens are neat because they are smack-dab in the middle of Tokyo. From inside the park, you could see part of the skyline:

This was a huge wall. I am there for scale...and also because I am vain and love being in my own photos.

Right after we took this, we walked to the top of the wall (the ramparts?) and asked a Japanese girl to take our photo. She directed me to the make the "peace" sign, and somehow, she knew "Say cheese!" Also, some European tourist stuck her bum in our photo.

We ate a late lunch in the basement of the fancy Mitsukoshi department store, which is Tokyo's answer to London's Herrod's and Paris' Printemps. There was a roof garden with a little store. (Ashley--now you have to make the trip to Asia!)

Also, a $2,500 perambulator:

This floor (baby stuff) also had my dream come true: a ChupaChups lollipop machine. Too bad they were about $1 each. Lame.

Today, I estimate that we walked at least six miles, in addition to our 5.5-mile runs. My feet are pretty tired tonight. Now, we are eating a late, light dinner picked up from 7Eleven. Picking from the various products, all of which were in Japanese was quite an experience. I got this drink called Bikkle, which pretty much tastes like a dreamsickle.

Tokyo is a strange and magical place. It is very weird not being able to communicate with anyone at all. Though I did manage to communicate "How do you eat this?" from my guidebook at lunch. Point for Mica!

Hello from the future/Tokyo!

2010-05-17T10:56:00.004-05:00

After 30 consecutive hours of travel, we arrived in Tokyo. (30 hours=driving to O'Hare, sitting in the airport, 12-hour flight, layover in Seoul, 2-hour flight to Tokyo, 1-hour ride from the airport)

The plane food was pretty good, especially last night's dinner. Asiana, which is a Korean airline, served bibimbap, which is a mixture of rice, vegetables, and beef. (We also had the option of "beef" but who knows what that was...) It came on a cute little tray:

And for all the non-Koreans, it even came with a handy "How to" guide for maximum enjoyment:

The boyfriend was one of five Caucasian passengers on the plane. Fortunately, the flight attendants, with their plastered-on smiles, spoke English to him. They spoke Korean to me. This will certainly be an experience.

After layover and our second flight, we arrived dirty and tired at our hotel.

We're staying a Japanese-style room (i.e. no bed!). There are two futons with fluffy comforters that we roll out at night:

The floor is covered in tatami mats, so you have to wear special room slippers:

Though we tried to fight the jet lag, we accidentally slept until 11pm Tokyo time. In search of a late-night meal, we found a solidly average 24-hour restaurant. The employee inside did not speak English, and the menu was entirely in Japanese:

Fortunately, there were pictures. And the boyfriend speaks a tiny bit of Japanese. We managed to procure beef teriyaki (I think?), miso soup, and kimchi for a late dinner:

Now, we are on Tokyo/Seoul time which 14 hours ahead of our normal time zone (Central). (It is 13 hours ahead of EST.) Think of it this way, I am blogging from the future! Let me tell you, Tuesday is awesome.

Currently, we're watching Japanese TV (Who knows what is going on. It just showed a girl in a bikini prancing around in stiletto heels.) and hoping to fall asleep at a reasonable hour. Tomorrow, the adventure begins in earnest!

Peace out, kids!

2010-05-15T18:32:00.001-05:00

Next time I write, I'll be in Tokyo! Wheeee!

(14-hour flight. Boooo.)

Master's Robes, wheee!

2010-05-15T00:04:00.002-05:00

We make academia look good:

Done! (Technically, not until August...)

Victory is MINE!

2010-05-14T02:14:00.004-05:00

This has basically been my life for the past week. This photo makes my workspace seem so disorganized that I feel nauseous looking at it:

I just finished, proofed, and submitted my last French paper for the foreseeable future. I'd be lying if I said I felt sad right now. I'll probably start to panic soon, once I feel my French slipping away from me, but I am too excited for my trip to think about anything else right now.

...Also, that last paper was somehow way more difficult than I anticipated. Ah, the taste of victory over a final paper is so sweet. Mwahaha.

Somehow, I found time to make mushroom-spinach-sausage lasagna for dinner. I missed the part about the recipe yielding 10 (!!!) servings, so who knows how we are going to dispose of 12389210321 tons of lasagna before we leave on Saturday.

Here's a wide-shot of the lasagna-monster with my head for scale:

And here is Bodger, just because I like that he lies around like this on the sofa:

Oof, time for bed. Tomorrow will be a whirlwind of activity!

IL Half photos & crappy frowning

2010-05-12T22:40:00.004-05:00

It just wouldn't be right if I didn't have a race photo where it looked like I was trying to punch myself in the boob:

I'm not quite sure why I made this face:

Whee, I love running even if I felt like crap:

Also, I am bad at frowning:

Everything but a French paper.

2010-05-11T21:13:00.003-05:00

I started today with a 5-mile run. My legs felt decent, so I picked up the pace towards the end. Here are my splits:

9:40
9:24
8:58
8:53
8:46

8.06킬로미터 : 45:48

Look, I'm an 80's fitness instructor, wheee!

After last night's baking disaster, I decided to get back on the proverbial horse and try again. This time was much more successful:

Okay, Korean practice time!

안녕 엄마!

저는 마이카이에요.

이게 개예요?

네, 이건 개예요! 저는 뚱뚱한 개가 있어요!

Baking disaster.

2010-05-10T21:08:00.005-05:00

I've been complaining about final papers a lot, so I thought it would be nice to focus on something else. (Also, I can't bear to start my last paper. It is going to be s-o-o-o-o painful.)

Before my life was consumed by paper-writing, I was working my way through episodes of this Korean "drama" (=mini-series) to practice my listening. It's called "내 이름은 김삼순/My lovely Sam Soon," and many people call it the Korean version of "Bridget Jones' Diary" because the main character (Kim Sam Soon) is considered chubby and socially awkward/unacceptable.

Here are the main character and her love interest (and some weird stuffed pig that keeps showing up):

See the resemblance? Yeah, never mind.

The main character, Kim Sam Soon, likes to bake and even studied at the Cordon Bleu School in France, which the subtitles translate as "Colon Blue." (Hilarious!) Like Kim Sam Soon, I decided to do some baking of my own tonight after my paper was turned in.

I planned to make Natalie's peanut butter cup blondies. Unfortunately, my brain was still aching from writing about "cognitive conceptualizations of spatial relations in preverbal infants." (I will be the first to admit that academics throw around a lot of polysyllabic words that don't say much at all.) I neglected to turn the oven dial from "Broil" to "Bake" (The over has two dials: one for oven setting and the other for temperature.). This was the result:

Ugh, it's a black hole of baking failure!

Because he is secretly a food hoarder, the boyfriend would not let me throw it away. We managed to scrape off the charred top layer and bake the remaining bottom. I considered it a great advancement in my patience that I did not hurl the tray across the room and dissolve into a fit of tears.

In any event, the end result looked bizarrely like organic forest matter:

"It looks like the inside of a rotting tree!" said the boyfriend gleefully.

We are going to eat some of it tonight, but I will attempt to make another correct batch later in the week. Oh, the shame!

Even Bodger thought it was gross, and sometimes he eats poop.

(Not really. That's just what he looks like when he wakes up from a nap.)

Finally, the boyfriend wanted me to share this photo with you. Can you guess what he is holding?

Alright, I am now going to commence what I believe is the last French paper of my academic career. Sweet English, you are always music to my ears!

My life on papers.

2010-05-09T23:09:00.003-05:00

This sucks!

Oh wait, I haven't even begun to write that paper yet. That's the icing on the cake after the one I'm writing now.

After this hellish semester and painful finals period, this is how I'm going to show up in Asia after a 12-hour flight and 14-hour time difference:

어버이날/Happy Mother's Day, Moms!

2010-05-08T21:30:00.007-05:00

This morning, I made an early run to the Farmer's Market with Alice. I bought organic-free-range-snobby-pricey eggs ($4/dozen!), dried mango, and some "small & ugly" tomatoes.

It is finals period. It is chaos. We're losing our minds in the apartment.

Dear Mom and Pat,

Happy Mother's day to you both! I thought it was nice that the two of you were sitting together on one love-seat in this photo. You are both awesome ladies, and I hope that I look as nice as you do when I am your age. :-)

안녕, 엄마!

I eat too quickly.

2010-05-07T20:16:00.007-05:00

Do you eat really quickly? I do.

Basically, our dinners look like this: the boyfriend eats his food slowly and chews thoughtfully before swallowing. (Though oftentimes, he overstuffs his mouth and can't talk.) I, like an uncouth cavewoman, inhale my food and sometimes get bored and go check my e-mail/start dishes/play with Bodger while he's still eating.

After dinner, like right now, I often feel kind of full and bloated...probably because I inhaled a lot of air while shoveling in my grub. I spend most evenings burping while trying to do my homework. Attractive, I know.

Does anyone else do this? Am I the only person who attacks her place with great voracity? Do your feel bloated after you eat quickly?

Most importantly, do you have any tips for overcoming rapid eating?

Unfortunately, the boyfriend is one of those perplexing "intuitive" eaters, so he's no help at all.

I hate all-text posts, so here's a photo of a connection I made with a neat group of people from last weekend. I am friends with Jeanie (in purple), who is a student at the University. She is half-Korean, and her mom and step-dad live in Northern Virginia. Kelly (her mom, in maroon) and Tim (her stepdad, the tall one) run basically a butt-ton of races each year and are super fit.

When I run the Marine Corps marathon in the fall, Kelly has invited me to stay at her house. Very cool. Kelly was also very helpful in trying to explain the societal constraints on Korean women back in March when my birth family search exploded.

(Also pictured: Jeanie's brother Raymond and her boyfriend Daniel)

Who knew? I am apparently short.

안녕하세요!/Hello!

2010-05-06T20:35:00.003-05:00

Ha, hilarious!

In other news, I have a stats exam at 8am tomorrow. Sad times.

Poisson distributions!

My life plan in shambles.

2010-05-05T22:50:00.014-05:00

Realistically, I know that most people are going to skim this post because it is pretty boring for anyone but me. Thus, for all you "light readers," I am going to intersperse a bunch of photos where I tried to smile "Korean-style" to break up the text.

Today was the last day of classes. I am delaying my graduation from the MA program until August for practical (=funding) reasons, but I am effectively finished with the degree and all the required coursework.

In the fall, I will not be returning for the PhD in the French department. This decision was motivated by several factors, which are too numerous to elaborate here. Basically, I have realized that this is not the place, program, or lifestyle choice for me. There are people in the program who love (Yes, love!) French, be it nasal vowels or Proust, and at the moment, I am not sure that I am one of those people.

Right before the MA Exam, I actually had this realization while watching "Throwdown with Bobby Flay," specifically, the episode about the NYC Wafels & Dinges Truck. The owner and operator of this truck-business quit his very successful, high-paying position to do something that he loves. I told the boyfriend, "I should quit grad school and drive around a waffle truck. It would be way better."

You know what? That's kind of a bad sign.

Another sign that I should probably reconsider my life-plan: I called my parents in tears and told them that I didn't want to be in French grad school anymore. My mom's response? "Yeah, we can all tell."

Here I was, just a week out from taking one of the biggest exams of my life, and I realized that I did.not.care. And on top of that? I found out that my birth mom was refusing my contact. Fun times for everyone. (The boyfriend and Lena get major props for dealing with me this semester.)

I'm sure some people are thinking, "Whiny little bitch! You don't know what it's like to have a 'real' job. Why are you complaining?" I am first to admit that I have never experienced the non-academic working world, and that academia does offer many nice perks. However, one of my biggest gripes about grad school is that your time is never your own. While I may have more downtime than someone with a 9-to-5 office job, I constantly have things like papers and the thought of research hanging over my head. Some people handle this pressure pretty well and do not let it affect them. Given that I've started grinding my teeth a lot at night, I've come to the realization that I have a tendency to let stress take over my life and make me miserable.

I have decided that it is time to seek out something to make me happier. Here are a few occupations that I considered:

Movie-language consultant (Like the people who designed the Navi language in Avatar)
Sub-title consultant/editor/writer
Pastry chef (Yeah, no thanks, $4839204830242 in student loans from pastry school)
Secretary
Group Fitness Instructor
Translator or Interpreter (The former works with written documents. The latter works with speech.)
English teacher in Korea

In the Fall, I will be staying at the same university, but I am switching to the MA of Teaching English as a Second Language. (That's right, I will have two masters degrees when I finish.) I am looking forward to a change in curriculum, as well as a general shift in the orientation of my program. Instead of looking towards a future of conferences, dissertations, and seeking tenure, I hope to find something that will allow me to use my interest in language for more practical and personally fulfilling uses.

I held off on announcing this decision because it wasn't clear if I would receive funding from my new program. (In which case, I would have taken a year off from school and reapplied for funding for the 2011-2012 school year.) However, last week, I was offered a teaching position for one of the ESL service courses that the University offers to international students, wheee!

A caveat for all those considering higher level academia (e.g. not a terminal MA), success is narrowly defined as completing your program with a tenure-track position at a major research university. (Just ask the Chronicle of Higher Education!) Given this narrow definition of academic success, my decision marks me somewhat as a failure. Chris kindly told me that plenty of people leave grad school all the time; they are just never mentioned again. (To which I responded that I would scrawl my name in permanent marker all over the French department such that people would have no choice but to talk about me in the future...)

In fact, it was very strange to have my life plan suddenly come crashing down. When I naively entered humanities grad school, I thought that the boyfriend and I would get our PhDs, love our research, have mutual respect for each other's disciplines, and become an academic power-couple. So yeah, that didn't happen, but I'm okay with that. [Please note: Things are different in the humanities than in the hard sciences, including the amount of funding.]

As the director of grad studies said, my decision is not a reflection on me and my success. It is a reflection of the fit between me and the program. I do not consider myself a failure, and I am excited to be taking steps to make myself happier. I will not be one of those whiny products of this entitled generation who expects that my job will make me happy 24 hours a day, seven days a week. Nevertheless, I want to find something that I enjoy doing professionally because I think that I have a lot to offer.

Thank you for taking the time to read this very long post. And thank you to everyone (friends, family, readers, etc.) who supported me through these pretty unpleasant few months.

Bottom line: I encourage everyone who is unhappy to take steps to effect positive changes on his or her life. Do things that make you happy or, at least, not miserable. Like taking weird Asian-looking photos. (Self-racism=okay!)

어린이날/Children's Day

2010-05-04T22:44:00.002-05:00

Remember how when you were little, you'd say, "Why isn't there a 'Kid's Day'?" Then your parents would retort something to the effect of "Every day is kid's day."

May 5th is apparently 어린이날 ("Children's Day") in South Korea. According to Wikipedia:

"In South Korea, May 5th is officially recognized as Children's Day. Parents often give presents to their children, as well as spend time with them. "

I wonder if my birth mom has other children and whether she celebrates Children's Day with them. I also wonder if she felt sad that other parents got to celebrate with their children, knowing that I was halfway around the world.

In other news, May 5th 2010 is also the last day of classes. As you may have garnered, this has been a particularly rough semester, which led me to some big life changes. More on that to come...

엄마/Childhood photos

2010-05-03T21:53:00.004-05:00

Back in October, my dad sent me an album of pictures from my childhood. I'm lucky to have an avid photographer for a father, which is perhaps where I got my habit of trying to document everything. (Thanks, Dad, for documenting my childhood so well!)

I actually have no idea how old I am in most of these photos since I'm terrible at judging a child's age from his/her physical development.

If my birthmom is indeed visiting my blog, I think she might enjoy some of these photos. After all, they document years of my life that she missed completely.

(Climbing rocks in coastal Maine)

("I f*ckin' love Christmas!" Also, Cousin Rachel looks terrified.)

("This is my tree!")

(Love cake. Always have, always will.)

엄마

2010-05-02T21:53:00.006-05:00

저는 여동생가 있어요?

저는 남동생가 있어요?

P.S. For any bilingual Korean-English speakers, I'm trying to say "Do I have a [younger] sister? Do I have a [younger] brother?" It's difficult because I, uh, don't speak Korean...yet.

Please feel free to correct.

Thank you for these suggestions from "Anonymous" in Korea:

저는 남동생이 있어요? 저한테 여동생 있나요?

Bodger, the half marathoner.

2010-05-02T21:28:00.004-05:00

Hey, do you like my medal? It's shiny and shaped like the state of Illinois.

You can look, but you can't touch...

2010 Illinois Half Marathon: Self-loathing and pity.

2010-05-01T21:27:00.011-05:00

I am utterly disappointed with my performance today. I am going to indulge these feelings of self-pity so that they get out of my system.

(Radish legs!)

For one reason or another, my body did not cooperate today. I started out running somewhat conservatively, given my goal pace of 9:05 min/mile. My first three mile splits made it look like I was on track to run a decent race:

9:42
9:23
9:16

Lena and I started out together, and around Mile 2 we said good-bye. I took off, hoping to PR with a sub-2:00 half. (This would have been an improvement of three minutes and eight seconds from last year.)

However, around Mile 2.5, I started feeling poorly. My hamstrings felt tired, most likely from working at the Expo for six and a half hours yesterday. My split times slowed way down, and with the way I felt, I knew that speeding up PLUS making up for the "conservative" first miles would be impossible. I felt labored, and it was a struggle to wrap my head around running the rest of the race.

I saw Lena run past and told her that I felt like bad. I considered just finding a medical tent and being a DNF ("Did not finish"). It didn't seem worth it to continue running so many more miserable, disappointing miles. All of my training was for nothing.

Somehow, I got through the rest of the race. I don't have anything inspiring to tell you. Lena and I were basically each other's support system through the race. By Mile 11, we adopted a "run four minutes, walk one minute" strategy. This was pretty effective at getting us to the finish line, but it didn't help my ego at all. All I wanted to do was finish because I knew that I wasn't going to PR and I already felt like junk.

I crossed the finish line with an unofficial time of 2:15:29. That's pretty far off my goal time of sub-2:00.

(This is just the finish.)

After Lena and I crossed the finish line hand-in-hand, we were able to spot the boyfriend pretty quickly. Knowing that I had planned for a sub-2:00 marathon, he was worried that he had missed me in the crowds. Though he had planned for a slow, unpleasant race, he PR-d by 30 seconds. I was really happy for him, but hearing about his success made my performance seem even worse. I started to cry on the bleachers, feeling like a failure for not being able to hold it together and push through the discomfort.

All in all, I am extremely frustrated with my race. I know that races almost never go as planned, but I am sad that my body didn't cooperate today. I trained so hard, and everything just fell apart well before the halfway point.

Instead of feeling strong and triumphant, I feel like a chubby failure. I've gained several pounds this year, and I cannot get them to come off. I am unhappy with my body (minus my radish legs) in my running clothes, and I hate it. It's bad enough to be dissatisfied with the way your body performs, let alone looks.

Alright, enough negativity. I will re-hash only the positives:

Lena and I set a PFR (Personal Friendship Record) today. And she stayed with me the whole race, helping me through the hard spots.
The boyfriend ran a PR.
The weather was good for the spectators (like Dan and Brian, whom I didn't see) to come out and cheer.
Even if I had a bad race, it means nothing in the scheme of things. Running races is still a privilege. I am healthy and wealthy (both financially and time-wise) enough to PAY to run. (I often think that runners forget this.)
I trained hard and (I think) made myself faster in the process. My speed probably isn't gone.

Today just wasn't my day.

At least I have a great support team, including Lena, who is standing on the next bleacher down because she is tall.

Half marathon tomorrow!

2010-04-30T21:06:00.003-05:00

Tomorrow is the Illinois Half marathon. After working at the Expo today, my legs were pretty shot.

I donned my Recovery socks and went to the store for some ice. The boyfriend said that I looked pretty fob-y:

Socks with Birkenstocks!

Ice bath, though most of the water drained out... :(

How does Bodger feel about the race?

The weather is looking pretty gross for tomorrow: probably rain, humid, windy, and fairly warm at gun-time.

First on tomorrow's agenda: Have a good experience. Second: PR.

Squeezing my radishes.

2010-04-29T21:12:00.004-05:00

I have been dealing with some kind of calf tightness or strain for the past month. I hope that it won't rear its ugly head during Saturday's half marathon, but just in case, I am trying some last minute treatment:

I bought a pair of Recovery Socks to wear tomorrow afternoon and after the race on Saturday. They are the Small (not XS) size, which makes them somewhat difficult to get over my calves. Once they're on though, they feel pretty good.

The weather for Saturday is looking less than ideal: warm, humid, and windy. I'm not sure that this is PR weather, but depending on how I feel after tomorrow's expo, we'll see if I'm even in PR mindset.

엄마

2010-04-28T20:13:00.005-05:00

네가 보고싶어 죽겠어.

부탁함니다.

May I have that?

2010-04-28T20:11:00.001-05:00

Hey! That [brownie] looks yummy!

May I have some?

C'mon, man!

Tuesday Tempo run

2010-04-27T22:08:00.005-05:00

Today marked my last tempo run before Saturday's Half marathon. It was a short but good one.

1-mile warm-up - 9:35
20 minutes @ 8:53 avg. page (2.25 miles)
4 strides + 1-mile cool-down - 11:05 pace

I hope the race goes well so that I may confirm that all my hard work and training has done something...

Today, I heard this back from the adoption agency social worker:

Dear Mica,

I'm sorry that I can't tell you where your birth mom currently lives before she decides to meet you in person. She moved to other city from Busan long time ago. Hope your understanding.

Warm regards,
이은정

By process of elimination, I currently know this about my birth mom's location:

~~Seoul~~
~~Busan~~
Everywhere else in Korea

Instead of working on my Psycholinguistics study guide, I am sitting here, trying to will my birth mom to get up the courage to meet me in May. It is currently 12:15pm in Korea.

Birth mom, are you eating lunch? Please change your mind!

Bodger says, "Hiiii!"

2010-04-26T22:58:00.001-05:00

And here are my splits from an easy five-miler with Lena:

10:26
9:49
9:56
9:55
9:38

"Radish legs"/무다리

2010-04-25T19:51:00.008-05:00

Yesterday, I learned a colorful Korean expression: "무다리" (pronounced 'moo taree') This insult literally translates to "radish leg(s)" and describes legs with big calf muscles.

Calf reduction is a popular surgery in South Korea. There are many ways of undergoing this procedure, but the most common is cutting away some of the gastrocnemius (calf). Another option is nerve-blocking through injections of toxins into the legs, which causes the muscles to atrophy and shrink. You can read about it here.

Ew, what-the-frick?!? I really like my 무다리/radish legs! They are big and strong, and they carry me over long distances. I also think they look pretty great, and I'm definitely not embarrassed to wear skirts or shorts because of my calves.

I would most definitely never undergo some kind of hideous reduction surgery in the name of skinnier calves. Gross.

For comparison, here is my 다리 ('leg') next to a 무 ('Daikon radish'):

My gams look like edible root vegetables, not like little chicken legs.

Today, I took my radish legs out for an eight-miler in the rain. I'm not sure if I'm going to run a very speedy race next weekend. I'm psyching myself out, and I'm not sure if I can hold goal pace for 13 miles. Here are my splits:

10:37
10:06
9:54
9:52
9:53
9:08
8:52
8:20 (Ran the last half-mile with the boyfriend, wheee!)

I also made banana crumb muffins:

Last night, I tried my hand at fudgey brownies from my new Dorie Greenspan cookbook. They were ridonculous:

Check it out with the flash on:

So now, if you will excuse me, my radish legs and I are going to go get some salmonella poisoning from undercooked brownies!

My adolescent heart.

2010-04-24T22:19:00.006-05:00

Today, I went out for an easy five-miler. Unfortunately, I've been having some tightness and worrisome pain in my left IT-band this week. My legs felt pretty fatigued, but I didn't have any major flare-ups with the ITB. I hope it gets better, but I'm prepared not to run all out next weekend at the Half Marathon. Here are my splits:

10:39
9:45
9:35
9:21
8:55

The boyfriend and I went out to dinner with Alice, one of my new friends from Stats class. She is an exchange student from Korea University in Seoul, and her English is quite good. Since she doesn't have a car, we drove off-campus for Vietnamese food and then for frozen custard.

Haha, hilarious!

Alice just finalized her return trip plans for coming back to Seoul. Fortunately, she will be there when the boyfriend and I are visiting, so I hope we can meet up!

And in WTF news, I just learned that Something Corporate, my favorite band of all time, has reunited for their ten-year reunion and is playing a concert in Chicago. The catch? It's the day we leave for Japan!

Um, hold on a minute here. WHAT?!?

Obviously, I am mature and realize that the opportunity to go to Japan and Korea (my freakin' birth country) far outweighs the chance to see a pop-rock-alternative band from my adolescence.

That said, I am pretty sure that Andrew McMahon is the love of my life...

(Look familiar?)

Oh Andrew, I will be thinking about you as I fly over the Pacific Ocean. I know that our brief encounter when I hugged you across the merchandise booth at a concert six years ago made a lasting impression on you too...

5x800, for the win!

2010-04-21T21:48:00.003-05:00

Today, I did my penultimate interval workout before the Half Marathon. I'm not going to lie--it wasn't that fun. However, I feel pretty satisfied with my performance:

1-mile warm-up - 9:57
5x800m - 3:56/3:58/3:54/3:51/3:53
3-min. rest in between
1-mile cool-down - 9:31

My IT-band started twinging this afternoon, so I better stretch it out and hope for the best.

Oh crap. Bodger is sleeping behind me, and he just let out a really stinky fart. It smells like poop. Here he is all groggy and grumpy about being woken up:

Sunshine award & Killer thighs

2010-04-19T21:54:00.007-05:00

Christina over at She Runs, She Eats just awarded me the "Sunshine award." What an honor to receive two awards in the span of a few days! And on top of it all, people say I'm funny.

I am supposed to nominate 12 blogs that I enjoy reading.

Healthing It
I Blog What I Eat
Kilax (Insert the boyfriend saying "KILAX!" in a deep and imposing voice)
L.A. Daze
Mix & Bake
Selby's Food Corner
The Health Nut
Brick Effect
Ambitious Aspirations...
Echers
Cross Country Squared
RunningLaur

Since I did my long run yesterday, I joined Lena for the last six miles of her 12-miler this morning. Here are my splits:

10:33
10:01
10:04
10:27
10:07
10:07

After doing a tempo on Saturday and a long run on Sunday, I felt pretty wiped today. For the rest of the day, I had some soreness in my quads, especially when going down stairs.

Whenever my quads hurt from a long run or race, I feel the need to announce to everyone in the vicinity that I am in pain. More often than not, my utterance of choice is "MY THIGHS KILL!" which, if taken out of context, is pretty awkward. I bet I made plenty of undergrads feel uncomfortable as I hobbled my way down to my French class in the basement today...

Honest Scrap award

2010-04-18T22:12:00.003-05:00

L.A. Daze gave me the Honest Scrap award. I am honored to receive an award from such a chic and fashionable lady, especially since I am neither of those things.

I am supposed to reveal ten honest things about myself, so here goes:

I have a really deep belly button, and it often gets all kind of funk in it. I just scrubbed it out yesterday with a washcloth. Yum.

It annoys me when people pretend that they are not judgmental. Everyone makes judgments about his or her environment, assessing whether a situation is good or bad.

When I was little, my mom took me to the local Korean mart. For the first time, I really wanted to be Korean and identify with the people in the store. As such, when the cashier asked me where I was from, I said "Korea" with an accent. My mom later called me out on it, and I was really embarrassed.

I think I give off the impression that I am a "fun" person, i.e. "fun" by conventional 20-something standards. As it turns out, I'm a homebody who doesn't like music, crowds, drinking, dancing, or roller coasters.

Today, Bodger farted, but I mistakenly thought that the tooting sound came from the boyfriend.

I bite my fingernails a lot when I'm bored in class. Then I don't know what to do with the fingernail pieces, so I usually stick them in my pocket.

I have a terrible grasp on the concept of "full." Thus, I will often eat until the point of feeling like I have a distended stomach and then curse myself later. Two desserts? Yes, please!

Grad school is really bumming me out right now. Like, a lot.

A lot of the people who were mean to me in middle school are now quite hefty and old-looking. I take great pride in the fact that by comparison, I am youthful, fit, and healthy. (That was the most tactful way I could think of to say this.)

I hate to admit it, but I stopped to stretch several times on my long run today. Here are my splits:

10:03
10:00
9:57
9:43
9:45
9:49
9:36
9:40
10:26 (Gu time!)
9:48
10:04
9:39

Now, I get to nominate people to make their own honest confessions. Unfortunately, I think that a lot of people have already participated. Here are three ladies that I don't remember reading about:

Suzanne, my fellow SPARC-er.
Lauren from Bananas and Toast
Christina from She runs, she eats

April Flowers and Tempo Runs

2010-04-17T20:48:00.002-05:00

Today, I did six miles at easy tempo/half-marathon goal pace. (Lena joined me for the first four but was later fell victim to pollen.) I hate to admit it, but in the last two miles, I stopped a few times to stretch and remind myself that "I LOVE running!" Um, yeah.

10:31 (Warm-up)
8:57
8:53
8:59
8:55
8:52
8:41
9:27 (Cool-down)
Avg. heart rate - 162 bpm

The last tenant in our apartment planted some beautiful daffodils and tulips in the backyard. Since we still occasionally have a night with below freezing temperatures, I thought that I should document the flora of the backyard:

And here is some backyard fauna:

(Gnawing on a stick)

Then I ate it.

2010-04-14T12:59:00.004-05:00

It is spring time in the Midwest! I know this for a fact because the local Parks & Recreation decided to turn on the water fountains in the parks!

My French office-mate Julie and I have taken a few of our lunches out on the Quad:

The warmer temperatures also mean that I have to start putting on lots of sunscreen. I'm really not into tanning, mostly because I am afraid of looking like a disgusting, wrinkled prune when I'm older.

Also, whenever I slather on sunscreen, I can almost convince myself that I'm going to the beach...instead of out for a 5x1000-meter workout, like today!

1-mile warm-up - 9:53
5x1000m - 4:57/4:58/4:57/5:01/4:58
(3-min. rest in between)
1-mile cool-down - 9:19

Overall, I'm very pleased with this workout, especially considering that I wanted to wuss out and run it on the treadmill. I hit pretty consistent paces, and I didn't feel like I was dying the whole time.

Yesterday, I participated in a lunch-time presentation at the Asian American Cultural Center, talking about my experience as a Korean-American adoptee. Elana, Kean, Beth, and I fielded a lot of really good questions about being adopted, and I hope that we made a positive impression on the audience.

One issue that we raised involved common things that we wish people wouldn't say:

"You're really lucky to have been adopted!" (You're really lucky to know your medical history.)
"I don't look like my parents. My dad is tall, and I'm short. I must be adopted." (That sounds like your mom had an extra-marital affair.)
"Oh, you're adopted. You're not really Korean." <--True story, a Korean-American said this to me on the first day of college. (Fuck you. I was born there.)

In other news, Running Buddy Lena was disseminating good information about sexual health on campus today:

Bodger loves going to the vet for check-ups because all the vet techs fawn over him and give him treats (Wouldn't you?):

Oh, and I totally wiped out on my bike today. While I was rushing to campus, I made a sharp turn, and my pedal scraped across the pavement. This sent me sprawling, and my bike landed on top of me. I arrived on campus sweaty and bleeding. Awesome.

Here's the damage:

Now, my left knee hurts when I bend it. I'm a little concerned with the race coming up soon. Rest, Ice, Compression, Elevation! Now!

High School Musical

2010-04-11T20:19:00.006-05:00

This is for you, Sam. And also, for you, birth mom (if you're visiting), so you can glimpse into my high school years.

(Freshman year - Global Studies)

(Junior year homecoming)

(Senior year - the only time I have ever been to P.F. Chang's)

(Sophomore year - Driver's Ed.)

(Freshman year - 5.5 Asians)

(Sophomore year. Um.)

(Junior year - AP English/Am. Literature)

(Sam, what year was this?)

Man, that was painful.

A reason to be vain

2010-04-10T17:49:00.005-05:00

First, did I mention that I registered for the Marine Corps Marathon? I did.

Last night, I was Lena's date for a fund-raising event to celebrate the 70th Anniversary of Planned Parenthood Illinois. It was good fun to celebrate an organization devoted to health care resources AND education for women and the greater community. We even got fancy cupcakes:

Lena and I got to dress up all fancy. I complemented my dress with a pair of banged up knees:

Prom photo!

Today, we did a practice 13.1-mile run on the actual half course. It was very sunny and somewhat windy, and it was really a struggle for me to finish. I'm somewhat apprehensive about trying to PR at this race since it might be somewhat warm on May 1st. Here are our splits:

10:18
9:54
9:58
10:05
10:00
10:03
10:03
9:54
10:08
9:56
9:31 (Was almost run over by a lady who rolled through a stop sign. Shared some verbal niceties.)
9:57
9:36
0:56 (The last 0.10)
Total: 2:10:25
Average Heart rate - 158bpm

Speaking of running, I received a Tina's birthday package yesterday, and it contained shirts from the local Charlottesville running store, Ragged Mountain Running. I will wear it proudly, though my inability to run on hills makes me a disgrace to this shirt.

(Bodger just tooted.)

And re: my cryptic last post: No, the boyfriend and I are not getting married--unless it's for health insurance. (Kidding. Kind of.)

Recently, the social worker at Holt contacted my birth mom to tell her about my second letter, but my birth mom was unwilling to run the risk of receiving it. Following a suggestion from reader Kim, I asked the social worker to send her my blog address. I think that my birth mom is curious to know about me. Certainly, if I were in her situation, I would be curious to see how my daughter turned out.

On Thursday, I received this e-mail from the Holt social worker:

"Dear Mica,

Guess What the news is I have for you.

I could talk with your birth mother three times this afternoon. I gave her the address of your blog and she visited it once and saw your face from the photos. And, finally she decided to receive your letter even it is still risky.

She is opening her heart for you more and more. This is a good sign and my prayer is that she eventually meet with you in May. I'm not sure it will be possible but want to.

Now what we can do is just wait for her.

Thank you, Mica for your patience and [continuous] love on her."

I hoped that seeing photos of me as a young adult would help my mother overcome some of her fear. The Holt social worker told me that my birth mother had cried when she heard that I was looking for her, but I think that a photo is much more powerful; she can see her own physical traits in my face, as well as those of my late biological father.

It looks like my "plan" worked. I hope that my birth mom will continue to visit my blog as a less risky, non-identifying way to find out more about my life. And even if she is unable to meet me in May, I take it as a good sign that she has not completely shut out all contact attempts from Holt on my behalf.

In the mean time, I will continue to be vain and post many pictures of myself and of my life in the hope that she will enjoy them. (It is unclear whether she speaks English, so photos will have to do.)

엄마

2010-04-08T23:37:00.002-05:00

1986

(Me, Cousin Rachel, Grandpa)

2010

Apologies for the cryptic nature. I will explain tomorrow.

Bodger's Tuesday thoughts.

2010-04-06T22:03:00.004-05:00

My God, woman! What have you put in my ears? Acid? It burns! Oh, the humanity!

(Note: It was ear cleaner. We do this every week.)

Oh, were you trying to take a picture of my face? How strange, I managed to turn around at just the wrong moment!

Here's what I think of you and your Illinois bandana (a gift from Jessica):

Maybe if I smile, I'll get more treats!

So this is 24.

2010-04-04T21:02:00.003-05:00

Of course, everyone loves birthday presents, but I was particularly happy this year because I received a wide variety of really thoughtful gifts. It seems that my friends and family pay attention to my interests and are really creative in their gift-giving.

The boyfriend's parents sent me the Dorie Greenspan baking cookbook, which I am very excited to use! My parents sent me a nice set of cookware, including a cast iron skillet. And Runner Jessica bestowed upon me a lovely madeleine pan. Now, I, too, can unconsciously evoke memories by dunking small cakes in tea. (Proust reference.)

A lovely bouquet of lavender roses arrived from Dad and Pat.

In preparation for our trip, the boyfriend gave me a guidebook to Seoul. I also received an unexpected present from a Korean girl in my Stats Class--two little keychain bears wearing traditional Korean hanbok.

To celebrate, Dan, Brian, the boyfriend, and I went to Korean-style karaoke joint on Friday night. Instead of serenading the entire bar, you go into a smaller room (norae bang) with your friends. Inside, there is a karaoke box with approx. 43924389204832 songs, and the lyrics play on the television screen.

In honor of the occasion, we selected a song called "Birthday Sex" by somebody named Jeremiah. None of us had ever heard of it before, but apparently, it was popular at some point. I surmise that the original lyrics led to its rise in popularity:

("G-spot, g-spot")

We had a delicious meal of Korean food:

Though it was not immediately clear what the different dishes were:

I'm pretty good at "I Want it That Way." Tragically, I cannot come close to the vocal fortitude required for "Lady Marmalade," though I think Dan and I made a notable attempt.

Fellow adoptee and birthday boy Shane was also celebrating at the karaoke restaurant. He shared a slice of his birthday cake with me:

"Two" for April 2nd birthdays! Right.

On Saturday, we had a more traditional style party to celebrate for me and "Blonde Dan" in the French department. Somehow, I was afraid that we would run out of dessert, so I made cinnamon rolls and two kinds of cake. For the adventurous, there was "Oreo Cake." For the purists, there was yellow cake with homemade chocolate frosting (from scratch!):

Many people sent me Facebook messages asking how Bodger was helping me celebrate my birthday. First, on Friday, he let me fish a slobbery piece of stick out of his gigantic mouth. Then on Saturday, he stepped on the boyfriend and snored loudly during the party.

And on Saturday, I used my Garmin heart rate monitor from the boyfriend for the first time. I had a very successful five-miler, despite Mother Nature's best attempts to drown me with a soaking rain:

9:54
9:20
9:14
9:06
9:02

Today, Lena and I ran long. It was the first sunny and somewhat warm long run that I have done, and our splits suffered accordingly.

9:54
10:12
9:50
9:57
9:57
9:51
10:02
10:04
10:02
9:50
10:19
10:01

Then we ate delectable curried chicken salad and shirked our academic responsibilities, wheee!

All in all, I have had a lovely birthday weekend. I am fortunate to have such a diverse group of people who care enough about me to celebrate the 24th anniversary of my birth.

Thursday night haiku

2010-04-01T22:12:00.005-05:00

Adoptee dinner.
We ate it family style.
Nom, nom, Korean!

Tempo run today.
Three miles at a speedy pace.
Jessica killed me.

9:37
8:23
8:35
8:28
9:18

Pre-birthday un-surprise

2010-03-30T23:36:00.004-05:00

This year, my birthday is on Good Friday. While everyone else is being penitent, I think I'm going to gorge on cake!

In any event, I have been getting packages in the mail from relatives, which is very exciting. Yesterday, I was waiting for a pair of new running headphones in the mail, and I assumed that they were in the small, white envelope that was in the mailbox.

I ripped open the package, only to discover that it contained not my headphones, but a Garmin heart rate monitor. I remembered that I had specifically asked the boyfriend for this.

Then I looked at the front of the package, and who would have thought! It was addressed to him, not to me.

I considered sealing the envelope up (with tape? staples?) and pretending that I hadn't seen the contents. I figured that this was stupid since the HRM is for me anyway and since I knew I was getting it. When the boyfriend walked in the door, I said sheepishly, "I did something bad..." and admitted my mistake.

This being said, I refuse to "open" it until Friday.

What have I learned from this experience? I am spoiled and blindly assume that all mail is for me.

Full weekend, full stomach.

2010-03-30T00:26:00.004-05:00

The last few days have been jam-packed and a bit stressful. We took Bodger with us to Chicago for the weekend, and while he was a very good traveler, the logistics of bringing along a dog are not easy.

On Saturday night, we went to dinner at Hot Chocolate with friends Jordan and Maria. The food was delicious, though I ate entirely too much and felt sick afterward. Jordan and Maria are buddy-buddy with most of the staff there, and they kept bringing us free food. Good thing I had run 11 miles that morning, though I still don't think the calorie deficit was big enough to make up for the gastronomic damage I did...

I ended up moaning on Jordan and Maria's sofa, while burping from the ginger pills that Maria gave me to settle my stomach. I did, however, manage to snap a few photos of their new dog, Bartlet. He is a beagle-bulldog mix, which is completely charming and hilarious.

The boyfriend and I stayed in a pretty fancy hotel, which had just opened a few days earlier. I'm not sure how I feel about the decor, especially the fake moss-covered rocks in the hallway (next to the futuristic phone).

One of the benefits of staying in a fancy hotel is that the staff will walk your dog while you're out. Fortunately, everyone loved Bodger, who was on his best behavior. He even whipped out his best Frenchie smile:

On Sunday, after a brief three-miler on the Lakefront, I had a real treat: a massage. (Last year, Miss Pearl gifted me with a very generous gift certified, and I finally took advantage of it.) I felt pleasantly "worked on" and limber after my hour-long session.

Unfortunately, I ate some spicy soup, and it annihilated me. I almost threw up from the amount of spice in my stomach. It's a sign that you've been dating a long time when you can abruptly announce, "Sorry to be a kill-joy. I'm going to puke." Fortunately, I didn't.

Today, Lena and I went on a three-mile walk before dinner. We found a free chalkboard:

...but it was too bulky to carry with us:

Who knew? There's a sweet-ass tree house in our neighborhood?

Good thing we wore matching red sunglasses and looked like hipsters:

Asian haircut!

2010-03-27T12:34:00.002-05:00

This morning, after a successful eleven-mile run, I went to a local Korean salon. It was quite an experience, particularly because my stylist didn't speak any English. (The salon manager seemed to be a translator of sorts.)

Unlike a "regular" salon, they didn't wash, blow-dry, and style my hair. (Unfortunately, I didn't prepare for this and basically stuck my head under the shower stream, post-run.) Fortunately, this kept the cost low.

Also, he cut a lot of fine layers instead of blunt razor-cutting it. It now has a "feathered" look.

All in all, I'm pretty pleased with the result. It might be beneficial to start going to salons that specialize in Asian hair.

...I think I look pretty Korean today:

Now, I'm up in Chicago over night with the boyfriend for an end-of-spring break hurrah. Back tomorrow, whee!

Dear Anonymous:

2010-03-26T20:44:00.001-05:00

I really appreciate your comment:

mica, your spirit is so amazing. For recipe for korean food ,, try this website,http://www.maangchi.com/
I recommend bibimbap,Bulgogi. you will also find out about korean ingredients.

I'd love if you'd leave contact information so I could get in touch with you!

Thanks,

Mica

Mad dawg!

2010-03-25T20:14:00.002-05:00

Every time the boyfriend and I get home from a run, Bodger immediately runs to greet us. He likes licking the salt off of our sweaty legs. The boyfriend tolerates it better than I do, but we both think it's gross (in an endearing way).

It is especially gross because he always gets this disgusting foam around his mouth. We then chase him around the apartment screaming "Mad dawwwwwg" as if he had rabies.

Today, he gave me a kiss (though I surmise that he was licking salt off of my face).

Even if he's gross and sometimes really weird, Bodger does make a good nap buddy:

Everyone loves an Asian girl.

2010-03-24T21:02:00.006-05:00

Today, I took advantage of Spring Break and tried my hand at this recipe for cinnamon rolls. They got the boyfriend seal of approval: sweet and bread-y, without too much goopy cinnamon in the middle.

Later, I went to Elana's apartment where we made soon dobu jigae (soft tofu stew) for the first time. Since we didn't really use a recipe (rather, just vague instructions), I will walk you through what we did:

First, Elana bemoaned her "racist' t-shirt:

"Everyone loves an Asian girl."

We heated traditionally stone bowls over low-medium heat and sautéed minced garlic in sesame oil. I totally bought my own stone bowl at the Korean grocery store last week. I'm pretty psyched about it.

After the garlic became fragrant, we added hot pepper powder and then chunks of beef:

When the beef was (mostly) cooked, we added sliced zucchini and mushrooms and a few cups of water to each stone bowl. Then we let the vegetables cook in the hot broth and stirred in a few tablespoons of fish sauce, which smells disgusting.

When the soup was hot and the vegetables were floppy, we added half a tube of soft tofu to each bowl and broke it up with a spoon. (Soft tofu comes in a weirdly phallic tube.)

Elana doesn't like seafood in her soon dobu jigae, but I added a handful of frozen mixed seafood to mine:

Once the soup was boiling, we cracked an egg in and let it set:

Finally, after much maneuvering, we managed to get the extremely hot soup vessels off the burners and onto the table. (The soon dobu was served with rice. It was white. Sue me.) The contents were still boiling, and I promptly burned my mouth.

So there you have it: two new recipes in one day. I'm quite pleased with myself...which is good because my running workouts have sucked this week.

Bodger's Birthday Haiku

2010-03-22T21:23:00.004-05:00

Happy Birthday, Bodger!

Bodger, you are two!
Happy Birthday, you fat-head!
You make stinky farts.

To be honest, I actually forgot it was Bodger's birthday until I looked at his vet records today. (I thought his birthday was on Saturday.) In any event, I didn't get him anything because I am a terrible dog-mother. That said, I am planning on having a play-date/party with Ingrid's Frenchies soon because I'm pretty sure Bodger would enjoy that more than some stupid birthday t-shirt.

Hello, spring!

2010-03-20T16:36:00.003-05:00

Today is the first day of Spring Break. I know you're surprised that I am not going to Mexico to drink tequila and make a damn fool of myself. Since the boyfriend and I are going to Asia in May, we have deemed it prudent to stay home for Spring Break, though we may spontaneously go on a day trip.

Lena is off visiting family for the weekend, so we did a nine-mile long run on Thursday morning. It was a successful one, though my legs were a bit beaten up from a lack of rest days. Here are our splits:

10:24
9:48
9:41
9:34
9:27
9:23
9:08
9:22
8:45

Later that evening, Brian helped us eat some of the leftover chocolate cake and looked super-creepy in the process.

Meanwhile, Bodger fell asleep in an awkward position:

(His head is smooshed between me and the boyfriend.)

To kick off spring break, we celebrated (French department) Jessica's birthday. Liz celebrated by kickboxing her in the face:

You can't really tell, but I wore a fancy dress to celebrate being done with the MA. (It is black with dog-print.)

I also made two kinds of cookies: sugar and chocolate chip (Recipes linked). Both were delicious. For the record, the chocolate chip are flat with crispy edges and delightfully chewy centers. I think this is my favorite chocolate chip cookie recipe so far, so I highly recommend it. Even the French girls liked them...

(ASICS 2140 boxes make excellent cookie carries.)

How I roll on Tuesdays

2010-03-16T23:00:00.006-05:00

Today, Liz took me to the University Ice Rink, where I proceeded to make a fool of myself on skates. My body and mind rebelled against the idea of skating backwards, so it was in a forward direction that I propelled myself around the rink.

Later, I ran a five-mile tempo run:

1-mile warm-up: 9:55
8:49
8:49
8:44
8:40
8:31
1-mile cool-down: 9:36

[Bodger just let out an audible fart.]

As a "thank you" for her companionship and impromptu ice skating lesson, I invited Liz over for pizza and chocolate cake. She provided the "Dharma & Greg: Season 1" DVDs and the Diet Coke.

I made another chocolate cake and frosting from scratch. I am quite pleased with my accomplishments. Also, I bought a totally awesome cake saver on Craig's List for $6 last week.

(If anyone in C-U wants some cake, please let me know.)

Also, hello, new reader Lauren (And to any other new readers)! To answer your question, I am not planning on running the 2010 Chicago Marathon. If I run a marathon in the fall, it will probably be a different one because I'd like to experience a new race.

East meets West in my kitchen.

2010-03-15T23:00:00.004-05:00

This morning, I made chocolate whopper drops from Baking: From my home to yours (Dorie Greenspan), which Jessica kindly let me borrow. As I predicted from the recipe and accompanying photos, they were delicious. Too bad I packaged all but four up and gave them as belated birthday presents...

(Here's a linked recipe.)

Later, I made a Korean banchan (side dish): sweet & spicy stir-fried anchovies. They were initially tasty, though the idea of eating little dried fish become increasingly disconcerting. I think it's the hollow eye sockets.

Eventually, I developed a psychosomatic aversion to the salty goobers. Meanwhile, the boyfriend gobbled them up with reckless abandon.

I hope that over in Korea, my birth mother just got a chill down her spine from her biological daughter's aversion to whole anchovies.

Post-MA ups & a down.

2010-03-14T21:23:00.005-05:00

The ups:

Jessica came over on Friday, bearing gifts (chocolate eggs and sparkling wine!).

The boyfriend and I played a good game of Cranium last night with Brian, Dan, and Dan's friends last night.

I also watched almost all of "Mega-shark versus Giant Octopus" on SyFy channel and didn't even feel guilty!

I started the day with a ten-mile run, my first in several months. Fortunately, Lena joined me for 8.5 miles because the weather was unpleasant--cold, windy, and damp. My splits were as followed:

10:34
10:00
10:08
9:40
9:52
9:46
9:52
9:59
9:42
9:37

I went to Barnes & Noble and bought several books to read for fun, something I haven't done since...I don't even remember. (Good-bye, Proust!)

And the down:

I just tried to write a second letter to my birth mom. A nice international student from my stats class offered to translate it into Korean for me. This letter will go in my adoption file in case my birth mom changes her mind and decides to contact me. It is extremely hard to write because I am still very disappointed and hurt. Additionally, I am jealous every time I read about adoptees who have been reunited happily with their birth parents. It is hard not to be angry and think "Other birth moms are so happy to finally meet and hug their children. Why are you being a coward/selfish?" But, unfortunately, that thinking gets me nowhere and just makes me feel worse.

Bodger's thoughts on springtime.

2010-03-11T21:04:00.004-06:00

Thank you to everyone who took the time to read my long last post on the results of my birth family search. I wasn't sure what kind of responses it would get, but I was pleasantly surprised that all of the comments (both Internet and e-mailed) were thoughtful and kind. I appreciate that you have been understanding and positive throughout my search process and have been overwhelmingly positive about my sharing personal information.

I my second of two midterms today. What a killer--an MA exam bookending the better part of two weeks, followed by a week of midterms. I finally feel like I can relax and try to figure out my life now!

So to reflect my lighter and much happier mood, here are some pictures of Bodger and his corresponding opinions:

Why isn't it cloudy and gray this morning? Also, why are you cramming for your MA exam and ignoring me?

Springtime walks are hot AND exhausting!

I'm a disgruntled springtime garden sprite!

I hate you. A lot.

Birth family search results.

2010-03-08T20:27:00.013-06:00

(I'm not sure when this photo was taken. Given that I look like an alien, I assume that it was soon after my birth, which was a month premature.)

Last week, I called my adoption agency in Korea to hear what was happening. The social worker told me that they had located my birth mother and her older sister (my biological aunt) and told them of my plans to come to Korea in May. Apparently, my birth mother was afraid that her husband (not my biological father) will end their marriage if he finds out about her previous pregnancy. I went to bed excited that my birth mother might meet me when I come to Korea.

The next morning, I found an e-mail from the Korean social worker in my inbox. Here is an excerpt of the relevant information:

As I told you on the phone, we could locate your birth mother recently and talk with her several times. As you can imagine, it is very hard and surprising calls for her. Whenever I called her she wanted to avoid to talk with me. With my call today, she stated that she feels very shameful and guilty. She thought thousand times and decided not to meet you. Oh, Mica, it's really hard for me to forward her message to you as well. She thinks it is better to return as not knowing about your contact. I know it is unfair and very sad but hope you understand her. She says that she will be regretful if she refuses to meet you but it would be better to meet you.* She couldn't sleep or even eat last week. She wanted me to tell you so sorry on behalf.

*I think this is supposed to be "it would be better not to meet you."

Though I had acknowledged this possibility, I don't think I could have fully prepared for the emotional blow of this e-mail. Extremely discouraged, I wrote the social worker back, asking if my birth mother or aunt might be able to have "non-identifying" contact with me. I explained that I still wanted to know if I had siblings and whether my biological father was still alive.

I received this in response:

I understand how much you are painful with the result. I really wanted to avoid to be ended up as like this so it was not easy for me to write you. Hmmmm.

Your birth mother didn't want me to call her again. She was very steadfast. I can contact to her no more.

She wanted to know about you more but on the one hand she wishes keep her present life without any trouble. When I read your letter to her by phone, she cried a little bit. But a couple of days after she gave me a call back and said very flatly that she decided not to meet or contact with.

From the several calls with your birth mother I got to know that your birth father passed away due to stomach cancer.

I don't have your ann's contact number. She just called me from public phone and didn't give me her phone number.

I am very sad that my search turned out this way. It upsets me that my birth mother has founded her new life on the premise of my non-existence. I have no way to find the rest of my biological family, and the only thing that I know about my family medical history is that stomach cancer killed my biological father. My birth mother's decision blocks me from seeing where I got certain physical traits and whether I have half-siblings in Korea. Unless she changes her mind, they will not know that I exist either.

It is extremely frustrating that my birth mother is both ashamed of and frightened by the fact that I exist. I do not believe that I am a person to be ashamed of. In fact, by most accounts, I am a fairly successful person; I am almost finished with my Master's degree! Unfortunately, I have no way to prove this to my birth mother. And unless she decides to have contact with me, I have no way to tell her that she shouldn't feel guilty about giving me away.

Finally, in sharing this chain of events with friends and family, the complexity of the situation has become painfully clear. While I feel that my birth mother is being selfish in denying me access to this information, I must acknowledge that I am also being selfish in trying to impose my presence on her security and happiness. As I have never known societal constraints such as those on Korean women, I cannot understand her decision, but I certainly do not want to ruin her life. And although my friends and family have been extremely supportive, their well-intentioned comments sometimes fall short of their aims because without being adopted, it is impossible to empathize fully.

I still plan on going to Korea in May. While I am disappointed with the outcome, I do not regret having initiated this search. A few people have told me that my birth mother's motherly curiosity and instincts might override her fear and that she will change her mind. While I won't plan on this happening, I hope that it does.

I passed!

2010-03-07T22:49:00.003-06:00

Liz and I had the oral component of our Master's Exam on Friday. Fortunately, we both passed and just have to finish our semester coursework to be considered Masters of French linguistics. Or something like that.

In any event, this past week was one of the worst weeks of my life. If you are my friend on Facebook, you might have seen that I burst into the tears in the middle of the exam, which probably distressed all four of my committee members.

...but more on the emotional crisis later. Now, I have a French linguistic history midterm to study for...gross.

Vulgar Latin

2010-03-04T22:55:00.002-06:00

Liz, on the MA Exam: "I feel PEDICABO."
Me: "I feel PEDICABOR."

Good luck tomorrow, Liz!

Hello, little frog.

2010-02-28T21:06:00.001-06:00

Check out those drumsticks!

Oreo cake.

2010-02-27T22:01:00.003-06:00

I had my first really successful tempo run yesterday. The plan called for four miles at approximately half marathon pace (~9:05 min/mile), but I managed to hold my tempo miles at sub-9:00 pace. At this point, I don't know what paces I "should" be running because I race so conservatively. Oh well, I'd prefer to err on the safe side than constantly push my body and battle injury.

Here are my splits:

Warm-up mile - 9:43
8:48
8:24
8:28
8:28
Cool-down mile - 9:37

The French department is in the middle of MA season right now. Though my blog makes it sound like I am the only person ever (in the history of the universe!) to suffer through a Master's Exam, the department is in the process of determining the fates of many others. Fortunately, Brian and [Blonde] Dan finished their oral exams on Friday and were given permission to pass to the PhD stage. Congratulations to both of them!

I made Brian an Oreo cake:

(Glazed Devil's food cake, with sweetened cream cheese, Cool whip, and crushed Oreos in the middle)

Too bad he went to Chicago for the weekend and won't get to eat it until tomorrow...

Birth parent searches suck.

2010-02-25T08:00:00.009-06:00

It has been over a year since I initiated a search for my biological parents. Apparently, Holt in Korea knows my birth mother's name and ID number, which is much more information than many people have.

Most of my requests for information and updates on progress go unanswered. Additionally, my US agency promised to send me an update at the end of January, but I haven't heard anything.

I don't even know if my agency in Korea is attempting contact, if contact has been made, or if my biological mother has flat-out refused to have anything to do with me.

Whine, whine, whine. But, seriously, WTF, Korea? You have enough money to pump into endorsing your champion figure skater, but you clearly haven't developed the infrastructure to deal with the generation of adoptees, whom you sent away, who are now adults and want some answers.

Edit: I called my US agency today to ask about the update I was supposed to receive at the end of January. The social worker assigned to searches said that she hadn't heard anything. I expressed my frustration, and she said that there is nothing I can do. Apparently, post-adoption searches are under-funded, and active adoptions take precedence over past ones.

Lucky me.

2010-02-23T21:00:00.008-06:00

Thank you, everyone, for the good luck wishes for my Master's Exam! It really picked me up to read all of the comments over the weekend, while I was furiously trying to recall everything I've learned in the past two years.

For those who can't read French, Rebecca wrote "Merde" ('shit') because in France, it is bad luck to wish someone "good luck." I just learned this and cringe to think how many French men and women I have inadvertently cursed with my well-intentioned good wishes. I applaud you, Rebecca, for being not only a good friend, but a culturally-considerate one at that!

The exam itself went...

In short, I am alive and relieved that the written portion is over. Apparently, no one feels good about his/her answers, so I will, for the moment, be satisfied.

A well-timed Valentine's/"good luck" package came from Roommate Tina on Friday afternoon. Inside were cheese snacks for the boyfriend and oriental rice crackers for me. (Roommate Tina and I have a theory that only Asian people like these.) Also, there was a bag of delicious jam cookies (like Jammie Bodgers!), some of which I brought with me to the exam.

Today, I received a nice present from Mom: a book of cupcakes. I am really excited to try out some of the recipes and even more excited to stuff the results of my experimentation in my mouth!

Finally, I took some time tonight to bake peanut butter cookies for the boyfriend to bring to his weekly poker game. Thanks to the lighting and shadows, they look particularly ominous in this photo:

The oral component of the exam is over next Friday (March 5th), which is when the committee decides if I am MA-worthy. Until then, posting will be somewhat sporadic. No matter what the outcome, I hope that when it is over, I can go back to being a more pleasant person, both in my on-line and "real world" presence.

Blog hiatus.

2010-02-19T20:47:00.003-06:00

The first part of my MA exam is on Monday, February 22nd. (The second part is Friday, March 5th.)

I am on blog hiatus until at least then, preferably until I can get my life under control.
For now, here are the splits of my last two runs.

A "tempo" run yesterday:

10:09
9:07
8:27
8:22

A steady run with Lena today:

10:23
9:42
9:33
9:33

Good-bye for now, friends. I hope that when I return, I have my shit together.

My little teapot.

2010-02-17T21:26:00.004-06:00

I paced Lena for a tempo run today. I'm not sure that we actually succeeded at running a tempo since we didn't hold a constant pace, but we did run a more taxing run than we normally do together. Here are our splits:

Mile 1 - 9:39
Mile 2 - 9:12
Mile 3 - 8:55

I just checked the Ryan Hall plan, and there are some long tempos in there. I guess I better work on my endurance. (Jessica, are you up for dragging my sorry bum around C-U any time soon?)

Afterward, I asked Lena to take some pictures of me running.

(I have so many photos of this exact point, mid-stride. It looks so awkward.)

I bought new [actually tight] tights over the weekend, so I don't have to wear my baggy back-up pair anymore. They're Under Armour ColdGear tights, and they are very tight (Hello, muffin top!). Oh well, they keep my legs warm, and I can fold over the extra fabric so that they're not too bunched up around my ankles...

I also bought a smaller capacity teapot yesterday on a whim because (1) it is cold in the apartment and (2) I am combating stress about my upcoming MA Exam with conspicuous consumption, both monetary and caloric.

This photo pretty much sums up how I feel right now:

(Confused and cold.)

Devil winter.

2010-02-16T22:29:00.003-06:00

This is what the back porch looks like:

Here are some ferocious icicles hanging off of the second-floor apartments, ready to fall and impale us.

And here is a random broken wizard figurine in the parking lot behind the house:

Welcome to the Midwest. How many more months of this?

Valentine's chez moi.

2010-02-14T17:31:00.007-06:00

How to celebrate Valentine's Day/Korean New Year (Seollal), Mica-style.

Start the day with a six-mile run with Lena:

10:44
10:03
10:00
9:52
10:08
9:30

Get flowers from the boyfriend (Awww.):

Bake chocolate chip cookie-topped brownies for the boyfriend:

Dress up/humiliate household pets:

Scare the dog with the French bulldog 2010 calendar:

(Study French linguistics and temporarily hate your life.)

Happy Valentine's Day and Happy Seollal, everyone!

Olympic let-down.

2010-02-13T18:13:00.006-06:00

Yesterday morning, while I was making breakfast, Bodger was barking his freakin' head off at the pantry door. When I looked over and told him to stop, I realized that he wasn't, in fact, barking at the door. He was barking at the February photo in my French bulldog calendar.

"Stay back, intruder!" says Bodger.

I'm not going to lie. The Opening Ceremony wasn't very entertaining last night. Way to suck it up majorly, Vancouver. On the positive side, who knew that Canadian entertainers DOMINATED the American popular media? I, for one, didn't. Those tricky Canucks...

Fortunately, Lena brought over a delicious feast AND her friend Alex (not pictured, whoops!).

Golden beet and mushroom stir-fry.

Butternut squash and lentil soup.

"His & Her" whole-wheat cakes.

Today, I did a seven-miler, my longest run in awhile. My left IT-band was twinging quite a bit towards the end. I hope that goes away with some stretching. In the mean time, I'll keep it relatively easy.

Here are my splits:

10:15
10:05
9:39
9:49
9:44
9:23
9:22

One of these days, I'll learn to hold a constant pace...